10-03-2010, 02:22 PM
Hi there Moon',
Hope you're feeling a little better as you read this.
My style with this sort of post is to jump right in with a response, only reading what the others have posted after. I pick out the bits of your own post that particularly speak out to me, quote them then stick my oar in! Ready? Good, lets begin!
"I have been out of a physically abusive relationship for almost two years.. and i find i can't come back to a place where i'm happy... "
Abusive relationships are now (in the UK) recognised for what they are, domestic violence. The abuse can take any one or a combination of physical assault, verbal and emotional abuse, destruction of the victims property, controlling who the victim can have as friends and even isolating him/her from their own family. Unwanted and inappropriate sexual behaviour on the part of the perpetrator also forms part of the unfortunate list of abuse. Two years is a long time to carry the feelings you describe.
"I'm unable to fill that deep emotional relationship I had..." I think I understand, you ideally want to be with your former partner but without the unkind things he did and you wonder how things could have been but for this. But I think you know also that you did the right thing by getting out when you did.
"How does one turn this around? I try to change my thinking..."
Have you considered counselling? NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming might be worth a go. It will teach you how to reprogramme your thinking by your choice of words and their context.
"WHY? i hate that I have to be the one who deals with this?? i just want to be loved and cared for and love in return..."
That isn't really much to ask for and with the right help, you'll get there.
"why is life so lonely?"
Perhaps you've learned to shut others out. I'm sure your ex is getting on with his life and you deserve to get on with your too. Let us know how you get on.
Good luck!
Hope you're feeling a little better as you read this.
My style with this sort of post is to jump right in with a response, only reading what the others have posted after. I pick out the bits of your own post that particularly speak out to me, quote them then stick my oar in! Ready? Good, lets begin!
"I have been out of a physically abusive relationship for almost two years.. and i find i can't come back to a place where i'm happy... "
Abusive relationships are now (in the UK) recognised for what they are, domestic violence. The abuse can take any one or a combination of physical assault, verbal and emotional abuse, destruction of the victims property, controlling who the victim can have as friends and even isolating him/her from their own family. Unwanted and inappropriate sexual behaviour on the part of the perpetrator also forms part of the unfortunate list of abuse. Two years is a long time to carry the feelings you describe.
"I'm unable to fill that deep emotional relationship I had..." I think I understand, you ideally want to be with your former partner but without the unkind things he did and you wonder how things could have been but for this. But I think you know also that you did the right thing by getting out when you did.
"How does one turn this around? I try to change my thinking..."
Have you considered counselling? NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming might be worth a go. It will teach you how to reprogramme your thinking by your choice of words and their context.
"WHY? i hate that I have to be the one who deals with this?? i just want to be loved and cared for and love in return..."
That isn't really much to ask for and with the right help, you'll get there.
"why is life so lonely?"
Perhaps you've learned to shut others out. I'm sure your ex is getting on with his life and you deserve to get on with your too. Let us know how you get on.
Good luck!
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