10-10-2010, 11:29 AM
Hello James and 
to GaySpeak. If anyone can talk about long distance relationships, it must be me and my partner here. I live in France, he lives mostly in England, (even though he will say that he lives in both places). For reasons of convenience, he comes over here once a month for a week or so, longer if he can afford it or gets some time off work. Sometimes when things are busy at work he'll have to go 5 or 6 weeks before being able to cross the Channel again. Those are generally difficult times.
We set the rules at the start that because of the long distance we would try not to infringe on each other's freedom to see other people if necessary. I know I don't want to go and find anyone else, personally, because I am perfectly happy with my man, and I think that he too (he will confirm) is perfectly happy in our relationship too. Of course we are no longer 29 and in those raging years when you think something ought to be happening sexually, before you turn off it or before you lose the stamina and your youthful looks. You don't sound to me as if you are in for that kind of relationship and hopefully neither is your partner. A good old talk about where all this is heading might be a good idea.
Long term relationships can work out as long as they don't feel like a burden and as long as that flame is rekindled regularly. We no longer speak to each other everyday on the phone or on MSN but we often meet in the chat rooms here and phone occasionally for a few hours. Once a week might be good. Then we also send each other text messages much more regularly, just to keep the other updated on how we feel, how we miss each other's company... and that sort of thing. I like to pack a few little things in his bags when he goes, just so he'll have something to remind him of me when he's back in England, something like a bar of Swiss chocolate, a little notebook to write in... whatever.
Every time my partner comes "home", it's like having a wonderful party or break from work (I bet he won't think it's a break, lol) but we have the greatest relationship and I'm glad we still love each other as much, if not more, than we ever did. Hope that helps.
Just remember that like every relationship, it takes some work on your part to stay in touch and keep the relationship working. If one of you finds disenchantment, then the trouble might start. A good argument or fight might clear the air sometimes, but they are not necessarily part of the deal. We have never fought... Talked plenty, but never fought. I think a mild feeling of jealousy might be ok, it keeps the spirit of initial interest going, but you mutn't let it eat out your mind. Give each other plenty of respect and plenty of liberty and I'm sure you'll manage just fine. Thinking of your man daily becomes part of your life and should be remembered with a radiant feeling inside, or a smile. That's how I think of my partner. He brings a smile to my lips, even when he's not there and that warm feeling inside.
mile:
mile:
Take care, James.
Have you thought about moving, or has he thought about moving?
to GaySpeak. If anyone can talk about long distance relationships, it must be me and my partner here. I live in France, he lives mostly in England, (even though he will say that he lives in both places). For reasons of convenience, he comes over here once a month for a week or so, longer if he can afford it or gets some time off work. Sometimes when things are busy at work he'll have to go 5 or 6 weeks before being able to cross the Channel again. Those are generally difficult times. We set the rules at the start that because of the long distance we would try not to infringe on each other's freedom to see other people if necessary. I know I don't want to go and find anyone else, personally, because I am perfectly happy with my man, and I think that he too (he will confirm) is perfectly happy in our relationship too. Of course we are no longer 29 and in those raging years when you think something ought to be happening sexually, before you turn off it or before you lose the stamina and your youthful looks. You don't sound to me as if you are in for that kind of relationship and hopefully neither is your partner. A good old talk about where all this is heading might be a good idea.
Long term relationships can work out as long as they don't feel like a burden and as long as that flame is rekindled regularly. We no longer speak to each other everyday on the phone or on MSN but we often meet in the chat rooms here and phone occasionally for a few hours. Once a week might be good. Then we also send each other text messages much more regularly, just to keep the other updated on how we feel, how we miss each other's company... and that sort of thing. I like to pack a few little things in his bags when he goes, just so he'll have something to remind him of me when he's back in England, something like a bar of Swiss chocolate, a little notebook to write in... whatever.
Every time my partner comes "home", it's like having a wonderful party or break from work (I bet he won't think it's a break, lol) but we have the greatest relationship and I'm glad we still love each other as much, if not more, than we ever did. Hope that helps.
Just remember that like every relationship, it takes some work on your part to stay in touch and keep the relationship working. If one of you finds disenchantment, then the trouble might start. A good argument or fight might clear the air sometimes, but they are not necessarily part of the deal. We have never fought... Talked plenty, but never fought. I think a mild feeling of jealousy might be ok, it keeps the spirit of initial interest going, but you mutn't let it eat out your mind. Give each other plenty of respect and plenty of liberty and I'm sure you'll manage just fine. Thinking of your man daily becomes part of your life and should be remembered with a radiant feeling inside, or a smile. That's how I think of my partner. He brings a smile to my lips, even when he's not there and that warm feeling inside.
mile:mile:Take care, James.
Have you thought about moving, or has he thought about moving?
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