10-24-2010, 09:35 PM
PaulAngelo Wrote:Marshlander - so what are your 10 most important tips for monogamous relationships - what would you recommend guys do to have a monogamous relationship? ...I don't know that I can or would want to either distil or expand my thoughts on this to "ten top tips". I can tell you what works for me, my partner and our relationship at this time, but I doubt what I say can be lifted wholescale into someone else's situation.
- I could say just find the right man and hang on to him, come what may ...
- As I've said before most of what I would suggest is about respect. The other person has a life and I don't require him to give up anything for me. If there is any giving to be done the only control I either have or would want to have is over my own actions. He recognises my complete freedom to be my own person and I have learned the freedom and happiness that comes from doing the same for him.
- It just happens that we have similar, but by no means the same, thoughts on many issues. I don't need him to give my ideas validation, although I will admit to feeling cosier and warmer when we are in agreement. However, I love the stimulation I get from having to think my way through discussions ... and we talk a lot.
- I don't believe that the grass is greener anywhere else (although when I was thirteen a friend took me to Stamford Bridge to see Chelsea play Wolves - I remember the grass being more green there than any grass I'd ever seen anywhere or have seen since).
- Sometimes we laugh till it hurts because something is really funny. Sometimes we just laugh till it hurts.
- Don't look for faults and if you accidentally find one, it's not a fault. It's one of those things that makes him unique and why you fell in love in the first place.
- Keep talking.
- Do things together and do things apart. We are not conjoined twins. Be interesting for each other.
- Make the most of enjoying being the owners of bodies that are capable of giving and receiving pleasure while we can.
- It probably helps that we are both too lazy to have found a reason to argue about anything yet.
Gosh! That is actually ten. There are others, but will those do for now?
Following quite a difficult life education I just happen to have come to the conclusion that monogamy suits me very well. I don't make any assumption that that has to be the case for others.