11-11-2010, 04:22 PM
Honestly, I am confounded. You seem to want happiness, but then shun the idea of being happy, as you have decided that if you were to find happiness, you would not know what to do with it. You, are conflicted, and I think (may be wrong) you need professional help. Someone who will go in-depth about the reasons for your vacillation about wanting and shunning happiness.