Need to know who I am

[Sil]

Get a life.
Enjoy masturbation, you are into fantasy world already.

This from someone who is - "Sympathetic and respectful to all people."
sounds to me like he already has more of a life than you mate. Don't listen to this guy would be my first tip ^

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The funny thing is there are some elements of truth here - Fantasies are nothing to get stressed over usually, only actions. So far you're simply going with what works, and the gender confusion issues are something your culturally-programmed brain is trying to reject. It's the macho Vs. The feminine. Yeah I pointed out the obvious

This is difficult because in your current state of mind I wouldn't advise sexual experimentation with guys, as it sounds like it could cause you a lot of grief and negative feelings, not to mention damage your relationship. There have been times when I've fantasised things like that, but truthfully in real life, they would be pretty scarey and not erotic in the slightest. I think fantasies often 'represent' an aspect of desire, something you can appreciate as sexually interesting; morals and values are much more conflicting and work against these.

It seems to me it's a mental battle of the dominant and the submissive. You've dominated, and now want to experience the same feeling for yourself; it may be power that you find attractive, rather than being with another man, and you associate men with being powerful and dominant. Your subconscious brain pieces these together and gives you a nice picture show.

I'd consider (carefully!) asking your girlfriend if she'd be willing to experiment with you, being tied up and controlled by her, and see how you react to it. I get the same feeling as my boyfriend hates being mean to me, even in fun. Hope you work through this eventually.