I’m Gay and Unnerved

[juk]

Orangecola,

You identify yourself as gay in your post yet you have such a reaction when it came to acting on that - well that does happen with some people.

I could sit here and try to analyse you based on the couple of paragraphs you have written, but that would not be of any real help to you. Instead I would urge you to find a source of help i.e. a therapist. This way you can explore the reasons behind your mixed feelings and maybe find a way to deal with them that is comfortable for you.