12-28-2010, 01:42 PM
I'm going to think outside the box here for a minute:
I can only suggest that you have a threesome, or a three-way relationship, or that you agree to have an open relationship with this person. So it really is up to you to decide whether that is something you can cope with, or not. I did not get the impression that you were into open relationships, but maybe you need to sort out your priorities and discuss the rules between you two, if you are going to get back together.
It is difficult to live with people who are as undecided as your ex boyfriend but who want to leave their options open, and not have any limitations.
However, if you decide to go down that route, make sure he understands that him keeping his options open means you get to keep your options open too... It doesn't work just one way for his personal comfort. The day you find someone who satisfies your need for a relationship, safety, trust etc... you can opt out of the relationship with your ex and move in with the new partner. That's how it goes.
The thing is that you can't really restrain a man's liberty to roam. Either he'll tell you what he's up to, or he might be lying to you all the time (not a comfortable situation), so isn't it better to have it out in the open?
Again there are other things that come into the picture, such as where is he living? Who's paying for food and rent? etc... so you don't want to be burdened with all of it while he's having a good time with someone else... that must also be part of your "rules". Have them set in writing if there is a risk of some disagreement over the arrangements at some point.
I can only suggest that you have a threesome, or a three-way relationship, or that you agree to have an open relationship with this person. So it really is up to you to decide whether that is something you can cope with, or not. I did not get the impression that you were into open relationships, but maybe you need to sort out your priorities and discuss the rules between you two, if you are going to get back together.
It is difficult to live with people who are as undecided as your ex boyfriend but who want to leave their options open, and not have any limitations.
However, if you decide to go down that route, make sure he understands that him keeping his options open means you get to keep your options open too... It doesn't work just one way for his personal comfort. The day you find someone who satisfies your need for a relationship, safety, trust etc... you can opt out of the relationship with your ex and move in with the new partner. That's how it goes.
The thing is that you can't really restrain a man's liberty to roam. Either he'll tell you what he's up to, or he might be lying to you all the time (not a comfortable situation), so isn't it better to have it out in the open?
Again there are other things that come into the picture, such as where is he living? Who's paying for food and rent? etc... so you don't want to be burdened with all of it while he's having a good time with someone else... that must also be part of your "rules". Have them set in writing if there is a risk of some disagreement over the arrangements at some point.
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