Gay History, One Man's Memory

[Dat]

It depends what you mean by settling. If you mean accepting some rights and agreeing not to campaign for full equality, then in theory I agree but in practice such a bargain is unenforceable. If you mean accepting some rights, saying thank you and restarting campaigning next week, then my point remains.

But you see, that is what has been going on since the beginning of time. Accepting anything outside of equal rights is settling. It doesn't matter how you package it, it's still settling. There are people who think as you stated and I honestly don't have a good argument. Take what you can get now and worry about getting more tomorrow. That just doesn't sit well with me. I shouldn't have to take what you are willing to offer me. Nor should I have to accept what you want to take away from me. We are either all equal or we're not.

I think the point I was trying to make is by accepting what they choose to give just continues the discrimination. I'm not sure how else to say it. There was a time when the heterosexual community had rights A-Z. The homosexual community didn't even have A. Now they want to give us A-F. That isn't anywhere close to equal.

I'm old school. I don't want you to 'allow' me to have A-F. Give me A-Z or keep it. You don't get to decide how 'equal' I am.

I should not have to 'ask' for what every heterosexual in this country has. Why should I be grateful for table scraps? Is it because I'm holding out hope that someday, if I'm good and wag my tail just right I'll actually get to sit at the table?

I did not work 25 or 30 years to receive table scraps. Yeah, I was quite the activist in my younger years and not once did I or anyone I networked with say "Please sir, may I have some more?"

I guess the reason I see it differently than some is this. We were never offered anything in years past. It was a resounding no. Now it just feels like selling out. To me. It feels like they want to offer us small tokens in the hope that we'll shut up and go away. Then when we actually do quiet down, they snatch their tokens away and we begin the dance again.

We simply become complacent and forget what the true meaning of equality is. If not forget, we try to give new meaning to the word equality.

Here's the problem as I see it. My reality. When they give you A-F, they tend to turn around a year or two later and take A-F away. Or maybe they'll just take D-F this year and allow you to keep A-C. It happens all the time all across this country. The reason is simple. We settle and we become complacent.

All you need do is watch what goes up at the ballot box to see the true irony of their homophobia. Do you know that in some states two people who are not related can't even buy a house or a business together? Brand new initiatives that were simply meant to prevent gay marriage. Unfortunately, what the straight people who voted for this legislation didn't realize is that straight people who choose not to marry have unfortunately fallen victim to the very legislation they voted for. Gotta read that fine print.

I also think some don't realize how quickly things begin to slide backwards when we're not paying attention. When you are willing to accept a little, it's really not too hard to see years of hard work slip away.

Take a look at VA. Remember how the governors first act after being elected in 2008 was to remove sexual orientation from the states anti-discrimination law? The law that made it illegal for companies to discriminate based on sexual orientation. The law that made it illegal to discriminate against sexual orientation when renting or selling your home. Companies are now free to discriminate based on sexual orientation; People are now free to refuse renting or selling of a home to gays. It is once again legal to discriminate against gays in VA. The governor did this via executive order on the 2nd or 3rd day of his term.

And let's not forget about his Lt. Governor who sent college campuses a letter stating it was against state law for them to include sexual orientation in their discrimination policies and any reference to sexual orientation had to be removed.

Thankfully the young people in VA went nuts. There were marches, rallies, protests all over VA. Gay and straight alike. After all the protests the Lt. Governor did send another memo stating that it was against state law, but it was just a 'suggestion' that they remove that protection. They were free to keep the protection for gays and lesbians if they chose.

That is what I'm talking about. If you accept what they are willing to 'give' you, then don't be surprised when they turn around and take that 'gift' away. VA is not the only state to move backwards on gay legislation. I have other examples if you'd like. VA is just the most glaring. Others are a little more subtle, but moving backwards they are.

The figure of over a thousand rights and benefits, refers to Federal rights and benefits. Married same-sex couples in Iowa, etc. do not have access to them. Part of DOMA would need to be repealed or ruled unconstitutional by the courts.

It also refers to states rights as well IF we're talking about civil unions or domestic partnerships. The number of rights you won't receive with a civil union or domestic partnership varies from state to state. The low ball number is 1,049 and the high ball number is 1,400.

DOMA will be found unconstitutional at some point if it isn't repealed before it hits SCOTUS. DOMA only affects marriage. It has nothing to do with states that only offer civil unions or domestic partnerships.

Here are a few of the rights civil union or domestic partnership do not provide you.

1. Joint parental rights of children
2. Joint adoption
3. Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
4. Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
5. Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
6. Crime victims recovery benefits
7. Domestic violence protection orders
8. Judicial protections and immunity
9. Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will
10. Public safety officers death benefits
11. Spousal veterans benefits
12. Social Security
13. Medicare
14. Joint filing of tax returns
15. Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
16. Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
17. Child support
18. Joint Insurance Plans
19. Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits
20. Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs
21. Estate and gift tax benefits
22. Welfare and public assistance
23. Joint housing for elderly
24. Credit protection
25. Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans

I've been trying to find a complete list but I haven't been able to find one yet. I'll keep looking. I had it bookmarked at one time, must have deleted it.