im a disapontment and a burden

[fenris]

Don´t think such things ... you are not a dissappointment and you are not a burden ... You are You ... not more... not less.
Maybe it helps if you imagine the situation from your mothers side .... You know yourself since years .... you know what you think, you know what you feel and you know who you are.... Your mother has to accept it, she don´t want to make mistakes, want to be your mother - has to be your mother ... and all this in a much shorter time as you self. Thats not easy ...
Parents think that their children will go the standart-straight-way ... find a partner... marry.. got a few children and have a happy, boring life. But you know a long time that this is not your way .... so give her the time to accept it.... to think about ...and to react in a good way...

Be patient... she will make some mistakes ...and its her right to do her own mistakes... she is you mother - not wonderwoman :-) Her world and your world are different... and it takes time for her to accept it.

Tell her if she made a mistake ... tell her how you want be called from her... tell her about your interests, your thoughts ...and so on ... but be patient ... and I´m sure ...she can be a mother like you need.