I just don't get it

[leslie]

That's pretty funny because that's what I thought about my marriage too, towards the end anyways. But Miles was always my best friend, unfailingly, and stuck through it all with me. Through my father's death, the death of my marriage, all his stuff (and it's a lot!), he was always there! I shared everything, all my secrets with him, and vice versa; I never understood why he had to be gay though. I've tried to get a clue and insight into his community but at the end of the night I just can't because it hurts too much. Funny also, he calls me his best friend for that reason, bc I love him, not bc he's gay. That makes no sense whatsoever I know. Religious indoctrination?? haha I wouldn't even know where to begin on that one, raised Catholic by a pre-Vatican II mother who insisted we only attend the Latin Mass, and who had some choice words concerning choices I've made throughout the yrs, including my "Irish divorce" wherein we merely live separate lives but the church still views us as married. I'm angry because I gave myself and I haven't ever done so outside of my marriage. I cannot speak because when I do, the snark comes out and then the regret. Yikes! Enough!