I just don't get it

[marshlander]

... I never understood why he had to be gay though. I've tried to get a clue and insight into his community but at the end of the night I just can't because it hurts too much.

The best and, in the end, the only response to that is summed up in the Stonewall slogan (and I'm only slightly embarrassed at posting a gratuitous picture of two hot men )



If you are ever going to be able to get on with your life again, what choice do you have?

Funny also, he calls me his best friend for that reason, bc I love him, not bc he's gay.

That's not funny, it sounds perfectly logical. It's easy to be best friends with someone who makes us feel good.

... I'm angry because I gave myself and I haven't ever done so outside of my marriage. I cannot speak because when I do, the snark comes out and then the regret. ...

Again, if you ever want to move on you have to start forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes and it sounds like he could be complicit in this one. You are allowed to think that he took advantage of your willingness to sacrifice for him, whatever reasons or motives were involved.

How about having yourself a "be nice to myself" day?