08-26-2011, 01:07 AM
I have been grappling with this issue for so many years now and I really hate the hypocrisy I am feeling so I am wondering how/when/if any of you ever have to deal with this and how do you go about it?
I think the best groups are comprised of dynamic diverse individuals in the best circumstances but that is a tad Utopian....
I really like and value my individuality and this is where my conflict begins in relation to me being gay and how much of my own thoughts and feelings do I dismiss to adhere to what I define as the greater good of gay people in general?
The hypocrisy....I am bothered when I know that sometimes white people who strongly identify with their race wont' vote for anyone else except for a white person just because they are white...and I am bothered when people of color voting for people or color just BECAUSE they are people of color first...
I am also bothered when I see someone dismiss their own feelings and not speak up when they know something is wrong out of solidarity to race especially,,,making excuses for bad behaviour...ect ect. ....and I know what bothers me on the outside is usually a reflection of something that is bothering me on the inside and this is an excellent example of that dynamic..
I find myself silently disagreeing with alot of things "gay spokesmen" say or gay groups say but defending them fiercely and completely despite everything...ignoring my own feelings in order to support other gay people. This is the same behavior that bothers me so much in other people and groups and THAT is hypocritical.....
...so I want to ask other gay people if you think putting the welfare of a group is more important than being true to yourself as an individual?
I am not sure but I think I would be OK knowing I am putting the welfare of the group above my own need to be true to myself but I at least want to be honest about it and in turn stop pretending to have phony outrage when I see other people doing the same thing...
On a side note..I do believe in free speech and I support the ACLU even though I disagree with and even hate some of the things they defend so maybe it isnt' as hypocritical as I think...
Thoughts?
I think the best groups are comprised of dynamic diverse individuals in the best circumstances but that is a tad Utopian....
I really like and value my individuality and this is where my conflict begins in relation to me being gay and how much of my own thoughts and feelings do I dismiss to adhere to what I define as the greater good of gay people in general?
The hypocrisy....I am bothered when I know that sometimes white people who strongly identify with their race wont' vote for anyone else except for a white person just because they are white...and I am bothered when people of color voting for people or color just BECAUSE they are people of color first...
I am also bothered when I see someone dismiss their own feelings and not speak up when they know something is wrong out of solidarity to race especially,,,making excuses for bad behaviour...ect ect. ....and I know what bothers me on the outside is usually a reflection of something that is bothering me on the inside and this is an excellent example of that dynamic..
I find myself silently disagreeing with alot of things "gay spokesmen" say or gay groups say but defending them fiercely and completely despite everything...ignoring my own feelings in order to support other gay people. This is the same behavior that bothers me so much in other people and groups and THAT is hypocritical.....
...so I want to ask other gay people if you think putting the welfare of a group is more important than being true to yourself as an individual?
I am not sure but I think I would be OK knowing I am putting the welfare of the group above my own need to be true to myself but I at least want to be honest about it and in turn stop pretending to have phony outrage when I see other people doing the same thing...
On a side note..I do believe in free speech and I support the ACLU even though I disagree with and even hate some of the things they defend so maybe it isnt' as hypocritical as I think...
Thoughts?
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