Spoiled myself.

[LateBloomer]

Hey Marvinteck.

I'm pretty new here, joined after you started this thread, but just got caught up.

I know you're probably not familiar with my story but I'll make it short.

I was a virgin until age 35 when I had sex with my first woman. Up until that time I only "flew solo" jacking myself off to internet porn. Although I could get aroused without porn I found that I had "trained" my dick to only climax after being stimulated with my hand.

Imagine (roughly) 25 years of solo masturbation. My dick (actually my BRAIN) had never known anything else. The first time I tried to climax in a vagina I failed and blamed it on the condom. Later we tried no condoms and that didn't help. And of course, the more difficult it was, the higher my anxiety and stress would climb and that certainly didn't help the matter.

I came to the same conclusion as you, essentially, that I needed to back off on the masturbation and "teach" my brain and dick to climax in different ways.

I don't think it's NECESSARY to abstain entirely from all forms of sex, but yes, I agree you need to drop the porn and masturbation. Explain all of this to your partner and it won't take long to recondition yourself.

I also agree that GIVING pleasure is wonderful. I'm also a very generous lover and take a LOT of satisfaction from that aspect. But sex for me is BEST when we can experience MUTUAL satisfaction. If that's what you want then I think you can have it with some patience.

I'm sure you'll have success at age 28 as I was a little older than you when I needed to make some changes. Learning to relax and let go and to STOP SPECTATING and judging ourselves is such a big part of enjoying a truly equal sharing of intimacy.

Best of luck.