09-01-2011, 07:55 AM
Gosh, Ryan I really don't know where I'm going with this reply. It's really tough for me to even think about this film. At first it kind of slammed me because in a way I'm still raw about my less than stellar past. Then, the trailer haunted me a bit after I watched it the first time.
My first reaction was fear that someone was sensationalizing suicide. Glorifying it? Trivializing it? And, I thought, do these idiots know what they are doing, they could make someone pull the trigger and not give themselves another chance.
But, that trailer is potent and I had another look. I think as a âsurvivorâ of thoughts that now I feel less than proud of but still they are vivid in my head, I did see a bit of myself in that trailer, or that person that I left behind--the person that gave himself another chance.
Sadly, there are so many faces of suicide. And, each story is unique and tragic. Just contemplating it kills a part of you. And, you live with it forever. You are afraid of telling people that love you because you don't want them to see you differently. I do feel some shame. East and dfiant, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I can only speak for myself and where my head was. The thing for me, was feeling like I was trapped in a life; a life that revolved around family, religion and school. I was so good --it's so laughable now. I bought into all the fancy words and I was so trusting, naïve and obedient. I believed what I was told, and I did what I was told. Then I started questioning, realizing things about myself and realizing the games going on around me.
It was just all so exhausting and when I try to wrap my head around it now, I wonder how I got to that point. I do think it was partly pride, and partly despair when my old reality tumbled down. It was an option that I didn't see as selfish at the time, but in my mind, I thought it would be easier on those who loved me than the reality they would know if I let them see the real me. I have to say I was never bullied and this doesn't relate to the horrible repercussions of bullying.
Sometimes things happen and you maybe see the hypocrisy of the adults, the teachers, the religious people, the teachings, all the things controlling your life and you can't comprehend it all. And, there is a lot of anger. I'm not blaming anyone, I just think adults underestimate the depth of adolescent thought sometimes; the depth of feelings, and how overwhelmingly contradictory some things appear. (I'm not saying this in a kids are smarter way, I talking about depth of feelings.) It's almost like you lose faith in the adults around you and you realize how alone you are. You don't fit in your life anymore.
In my case, some of it WAS self-imposed; I wouldn't dare trust anyone with the crap inside my head back then. I just couldn't let that part of me be exposed to people that thought I was perfect. But, at the same time, I was screaming for someone to notice and say, I hear you. Its silent screaming and you don't know how to get anyone to hear you. Its deafening inside you're head. And, it's frightening.
As this relates to the movie, the thing that struck me as so realistic is the school scene--when the teacher is asking about his project. That just resonated with me because of how in high school you have these meaningless stupid projects for a class when in your head you are actually struggling with a question of life and death, literally. That's what I think some well-intentioned adults/teachers/professionals might not get. And, a teacher might be, all firm telling you, this is serious for your grade, THIS is important and you kind of just hear those words buzzing by you, and inside you're screaming, YOU have no idea what's important!
Maybe the character, Archie takes the âstupidâ project and tries to make meaning of his internal struggles. IDK, I'm just guessing, but maybe it's his way of voicing those silent screams. So, from the trailer, it seems like one of the main characters does indeed die and you see reactions and blame. If it then focuses on the repercussions and the aftermath of a project that gets out of hand, well, maybe this could be something good. Maybe it might make someone pause and give themselves another chance.
Ryan, my reply feels a little disoriented :redface: I'm sorry. I hope it kind of makes sense. I'm really intrigued by the movie now. I think I'd cry a lot through out but I think I could actually watch it now. Thanks for posting it.
mile:
My first reaction was fear that someone was sensationalizing suicide. Glorifying it? Trivializing it? And, I thought, do these idiots know what they are doing, they could make someone pull the trigger and not give themselves another chance.
But, that trailer is potent and I had another look. I think as a âsurvivorâ of thoughts that now I feel less than proud of but still they are vivid in my head, I did see a bit of myself in that trailer, or that person that I left behind--the person that gave himself another chance.
Sadly, there are so many faces of suicide. And, each story is unique and tragic. Just contemplating it kills a part of you. And, you live with it forever. You are afraid of telling people that love you because you don't want them to see you differently. I do feel some shame. East and dfiant, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I can only speak for myself and where my head was. The thing for me, was feeling like I was trapped in a life; a life that revolved around family, religion and school. I was so good --it's so laughable now. I bought into all the fancy words and I was so trusting, naïve and obedient. I believed what I was told, and I did what I was told. Then I started questioning, realizing things about myself and realizing the games going on around me.
It was just all so exhausting and when I try to wrap my head around it now, I wonder how I got to that point. I do think it was partly pride, and partly despair when my old reality tumbled down. It was an option that I didn't see as selfish at the time, but in my mind, I thought it would be easier on those who loved me than the reality they would know if I let them see the real me. I have to say I was never bullied and this doesn't relate to the horrible repercussions of bullying.
Sometimes things happen and you maybe see the hypocrisy of the adults, the teachers, the religious people, the teachings, all the things controlling your life and you can't comprehend it all. And, there is a lot of anger. I'm not blaming anyone, I just think adults underestimate the depth of adolescent thought sometimes; the depth of feelings, and how overwhelmingly contradictory some things appear. (I'm not saying this in a kids are smarter way, I talking about depth of feelings.) It's almost like you lose faith in the adults around you and you realize how alone you are. You don't fit in your life anymore.
In my case, some of it WAS self-imposed; I wouldn't dare trust anyone with the crap inside my head back then. I just couldn't let that part of me be exposed to people that thought I was perfect. But, at the same time, I was screaming for someone to notice and say, I hear you. Its silent screaming and you don't know how to get anyone to hear you. Its deafening inside you're head. And, it's frightening.
As this relates to the movie, the thing that struck me as so realistic is the school scene--when the teacher is asking about his project. That just resonated with me because of how in high school you have these meaningless stupid projects for a class when in your head you are actually struggling with a question of life and death, literally. That's what I think some well-intentioned adults/teachers/professionals might not get. And, a teacher might be, all firm telling you, this is serious for your grade, THIS is important and you kind of just hear those words buzzing by you, and inside you're screaming, YOU have no idea what's important!
Maybe the character, Archie takes the âstupidâ project and tries to make meaning of his internal struggles. IDK, I'm just guessing, but maybe it's his way of voicing those silent screams. So, from the trailer, it seems like one of the main characters does indeed die and you see reactions and blame. If it then focuses on the repercussions and the aftermath of a project that gets out of hand, well, maybe this could be something good. Maybe it might make someone pause and give themselves another chance.
Ryan, my reply feels a little disoriented :redface: I'm sorry. I hope it kind of makes sense. I'm really intrigued by the movie now. I think I'd cry a lot through out but I think I could actually watch it now. Thanks for posting it.
mile:
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