11-05-2011, 03:22 PM
We English speakers are denying much when we use love as a catch all word for an emotion that has many depths and meanings. After all we Love mom, Love apple pie, Love our lover, Love our sibling, Love our dog, Love the color plaid (OK so plaid isn't a color I failed gay 101 - sue me :tongue
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The Greeks had more than one word for 'love', four of them: Agápe, Philia, Storge, Ãros
Each is love, but they are different.
I suspect that this kid had/has a deep sense of philia for you.
Philia is a virtuous love without the passion of Eros (sexual love), but it is a strong bond. Good friends, mentors, "brothers in blood" (not necessarily family) can have this deep sense of love.
I suspect you also have a deep philia type love for him as well, thus the lack of lust.
I think a second thing working against us (LGBT) is that we have fallen into the trap of thinking that we must have an eros type love in order to be 'in love' with another. Thus the idea that two men can actually have a strong loving relationship and not have sex or a need for sex is seen as being 'unreal' and 'impossible' thus it is assumed there is something 'wrong' here.
His saying "I love you equally" is most likely a truth, at least the truth as he understands the complexities of love. He most likely has a strong philia for you while at the same time having a strong sense of eros for this other guy.
He most likely gets satisfaction from the relationship between you and him that he does not get with the Eros guy he is with. Philosophers who discuss love tend to agree that an equal ratio of all of the types of love is rarely found in one person we love. We tend to have more eros over agápe, or more of the philia than the eros, etc. Thus most of us need more than one person to love, thus we have our lover and our friends, where we share one form of love more with our lover, and may even share another form more with our friends than our lover.
Ultimately I cannot open up his head and see his mind, so I have no idea what exactly it is he feels and thinks on the matter. Nor can I do the same for you. You can only judge the depth and meaning of 'love' in this case for yourself.
Types of love: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love
)The Greeks had more than one word for 'love', four of them: Agápe, Philia, Storge, Ãros
Each is love, but they are different.
I suspect that this kid had/has a deep sense of philia for you.
Philia is a virtuous love without the passion of Eros (sexual love), but it is a strong bond. Good friends, mentors, "brothers in blood" (not necessarily family) can have this deep sense of love.
I suspect you also have a deep philia type love for him as well, thus the lack of lust.
I think a second thing working against us (LGBT) is that we have fallen into the trap of thinking that we must have an eros type love in order to be 'in love' with another. Thus the idea that two men can actually have a strong loving relationship and not have sex or a need for sex is seen as being 'unreal' and 'impossible' thus it is assumed there is something 'wrong' here.
His saying "I love you equally" is most likely a truth, at least the truth as he understands the complexities of love. He most likely has a strong philia for you while at the same time having a strong sense of eros for this other guy.
He most likely gets satisfaction from the relationship between you and him that he does not get with the Eros guy he is with. Philosophers who discuss love tend to agree that an equal ratio of all of the types of love is rarely found in one person we love. We tend to have more eros over agápe, or more of the philia than the eros, etc. Thus most of us need more than one person to love, thus we have our lover and our friends, where we share one form of love more with our lover, and may even share another form more with our friends than our lover.
Ultimately I cannot open up his head and see his mind, so I have no idea what exactly it is he feels and thinks on the matter. Nor can I do the same for you. You can only judge the depth and meaning of 'love' in this case for yourself.
Types of love: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love
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