11-22-2007, 05:44 PM
Ok pause pause pause.
We're running before we can walk here.
How important is fidelity to you in your relationship with your boyfriend ? I'm assuming that it's not an open relationship ? Otherwise this wouldn't be an issue ... and given your present predicament, I'm guessing that it's him that is a bigger fan of monogamy than yourself ...
Unfortunately this is one of those situations where I'm just going to have to present you with the cold, hard facts ...
Relationships are malleable - even the most rigid are (just less so than more normal ones). They have to be, as the parties therein grow and develop as they go. There is nothing that says you should keep a relationship going beyond the point of common sense, and staying with somebody simply because you've nothing better to do, or because you pity them, is most definitely the wrong way of going about being in a relationship.
It sounds like you're experiencing, not a mid-life crisis (you're too young, thankfully !!), but definitely a grass is greener scenario, so my advice to you at this time is as follows :-
1) Take a good, long look at your relationship. There must have been something good in it for it to have a) lasted this long, and b) been created in the first place ... what was it ? Is it still there ?
2) Ask yourself whether you love your partner;
3) Ask yourself whether you're in love with your partner (because there is a big difference);
4) Ask yourself whether you want your existing relationship to continue, because as I see it, if you do, then you can pep things up a number of ways ... you could see how he'd feel about making the relationship more open; you could try and add some pazazz to your sex-life; you could sit down with him and have a perfectly from-the-heart conversation explaining how you feel, and asking him for his input. It seems equally unfair that if you have a massive sex drive and he doesn't, you're left feeling significantly unfulfilled in terms of YOUR sex-drive ... relationships are all about give 'n take, after all
mile:.
5) If you DON'T want your relationship to continue, then consider ending it - if this isn't a phase; if, after careful consideration you're SURE that this relationship is dead in the water, then a clean break so you can both get on with your lives might be the kindest thing ...
... but for my part ? I'd try and make it work ... four years is a good investment of your time and his, and so I think he probably deserves being dealt with on the level ... you'll feel better about yourself too I should wager ...
... which brings me to ...
6) I would not sleep around behind his back ... it's beneath you, and unless you have some serious justification (like a massive revenge attack or something ?), he probably doesn't deserve it ... not that I know him or anythingmile:.
That's what I think at any rate xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
We're running before we can walk here.
How important is fidelity to you in your relationship with your boyfriend ? I'm assuming that it's not an open relationship ? Otherwise this wouldn't be an issue ... and given your present predicament, I'm guessing that it's him that is a bigger fan of monogamy than yourself ...
Unfortunately this is one of those situations where I'm just going to have to present you with the cold, hard facts ...
Relationships are malleable - even the most rigid are (just less so than more normal ones). They have to be, as the parties therein grow and develop as they go. There is nothing that says you should keep a relationship going beyond the point of common sense, and staying with somebody simply because you've nothing better to do, or because you pity them, is most definitely the wrong way of going about being in a relationship.
It sounds like you're experiencing, not a mid-life crisis (you're too young, thankfully !!), but definitely a grass is greener scenario, so my advice to you at this time is as follows :-
1) Take a good, long look at your relationship. There must have been something good in it for it to have a) lasted this long, and b) been created in the first place ... what was it ? Is it still there ?
2) Ask yourself whether you love your partner;
3) Ask yourself whether you're in love with your partner (because there is a big difference);
4) Ask yourself whether you want your existing relationship to continue, because as I see it, if you do, then you can pep things up a number of ways ... you could see how he'd feel about making the relationship more open; you could try and add some pazazz to your sex-life; you could sit down with him and have a perfectly from-the-heart conversation explaining how you feel, and asking him for his input. It seems equally unfair that if you have a massive sex drive and he doesn't, you're left feeling significantly unfulfilled in terms of YOUR sex-drive ... relationships are all about give 'n take, after all
mile:.5) If you DON'T want your relationship to continue, then consider ending it - if this isn't a phase; if, after careful consideration you're SURE that this relationship is dead in the water, then a clean break so you can both get on with your lives might be the kindest thing ...
... but for my part ? I'd try and make it work ... four years is a good investment of your time and his, and so I think he probably deserves being dealt with on the level ... you'll feel better about yourself too I should wager ...
... which brings me to ...
6) I would not sleep around behind his back ... it's beneath you, and unless you have some serious justification (like a massive revenge attack or something ?), he probably doesn't deserve it ... not that I know him or anything
mile:.That's what I think at any rate xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
