11-22-2007, 07:40 PM
Aaaaaaah grasshopper, take the pebble from my hand!
I can"t really ad anything to that perfect post, except to reconfirm something Shadow said. If it is over, that"s also ok. Sad perhaps, but four for four years you seem to have had a good time and cared for each other...but sometimes things change. So if your feelings have, it"s ok to say so and move on.
I'd also take a look back and see for how long you've been feeling this way. Sometimes we get so in a rut that we just let an ok thing continue just because we are too lazy to get out...or to comfortable.
Take a good look at Shadows post and decide what is fair for both of you. There is no law that says once you reach four years it has to be the one. In fact, four years is just about the time we all look back and take stock. Is this what we want? Or is it time to throw in the towel and search for that extra something.......
Also....is this just a sex thing? If it is, you can work something out between you, if not the perfect thing. Relationships are about compromise on both your parts. If it's more than sex it might be a good time to really take stock of both your feelings.
One last thing. The grass is rarely ever greener....just a different shade of green. 99% of the time we change one problem in one person for a different problem in someone else. Once the honeymoon is over is when the real relationship work begins. Anyone can make a relationship work when it's all sparks and hot, horny sex. In fact, that phase lasts about......you guessed it, 4 years.
Gay men have an insatiable Peter Pan complex. Don't hit 40 and realize it's too late to build anything lasting because you spent all your time acting like a teenager. If you don't fit, then don't torture either of you. If you just can't be a grown up and make sacrifices for another person...time to take a long look at yourself. (I'm not saying this is the case, just one that happens all to often.)
I can"t really ad anything to that perfect post, except to reconfirm something Shadow said. If it is over, that"s also ok. Sad perhaps, but four for four years you seem to have had a good time and cared for each other...but sometimes things change. So if your feelings have, it"s ok to say so and move on.
I'd also take a look back and see for how long you've been feeling this way. Sometimes we get so in a rut that we just let an ok thing continue just because we are too lazy to get out...or to comfortable.
Take a good look at Shadows post and decide what is fair for both of you. There is no law that says once you reach four years it has to be the one. In fact, four years is just about the time we all look back and take stock. Is this what we want? Or is it time to throw in the towel and search for that extra something.......
Also....is this just a sex thing? If it is, you can work something out between you, if not the perfect thing. Relationships are about compromise on both your parts. If it's more than sex it might be a good time to really take stock of both your feelings.
One last thing. The grass is rarely ever greener....just a different shade of green. 99% of the time we change one problem in one person for a different problem in someone else. Once the honeymoon is over is when the real relationship work begins. Anyone can make a relationship work when it's all sparks and hot, horny sex. In fact, that phase lasts about......you guessed it, 4 years.
Gay men have an insatiable Peter Pan complex. Don't hit 40 and realize it's too late to build anything lasting because you spent all your time acting like a teenager. If you don't fit, then don't torture either of you. If you just can't be a grown up and make sacrifices for another person...time to take a long look at yourself. (I'm not saying this is the case, just one that happens all to often.)
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