12-13-2007, 10:50 PM
Ok ...
If this were a balance sheet or similar, you'd look rather in debt my dear ... as has been said to you before, staying with somebody because you don't know what else to do, or think it's just easier than going it alone is absolutely the wrong reason to be in a relationship.
I'm not suggesting that you end your relationship with your man simply because it seems to have hit a stale patch - every relationship gets times like that ... but you've already gone way past that and crossed what many (myself included) see as being the defining line between the rights and wrongs of the etiquette of being in a relationship, and that is that you've strayed beyond the bounds of monogamy ... which is something I personally would reserve only for pre-established "open" relationships.
You are therefore at a crossroads.
As I perceive if, your choices are :-
A) Tell him what you've done, and let him decide whether he wants to remain in a relationship with you (you won't do this, as you don't really seem to want to be in the relationship with him at this point);
B) Tell him that you want to end your relationship with him (whether or not you tell him the whole truth being up to you), and adopt the clean break mentality in the hopes that both of you can and will get on with your lives better apart than together; or
C) Go back to what you had with him, hoping to keep what has happened a secret, and potentially risk longer-term hurt to both of you ...
The only question you need to ask yourself now is ... do you want to be in a relationship with this guy or not ?
If you do then I would urge you to do the right thing (and I trust you know in your heart of hearts what that is); and if you do not then I would suggest you consider whether it's worth continuing as you are, as the most obvious conclusion to the path you're on is that you're going to start resenting him for all the things he's not, and that's not fair on him, as it's at least a 50/50 thing that's brought you to this point I would assume ...
Also ? Assess the blame and be reasonable with it - rarely is anybody the antichrist they're painted as ... so be honest and be reasonable with yourself and with him.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
If this were a balance sheet or similar, you'd look rather in debt my dear ... as has been said to you before, staying with somebody because you don't know what else to do, or think it's just easier than going it alone is absolutely the wrong reason to be in a relationship.
I'm not suggesting that you end your relationship with your man simply because it seems to have hit a stale patch - every relationship gets times like that ... but you've already gone way past that and crossed what many (myself included) see as being the defining line between the rights and wrongs of the etiquette of being in a relationship, and that is that you've strayed beyond the bounds of monogamy ... which is something I personally would reserve only for pre-established "open" relationships.
You are therefore at a crossroads.
As I perceive if, your choices are :-
A) Tell him what you've done, and let him decide whether he wants to remain in a relationship with you (you won't do this, as you don't really seem to want to be in the relationship with him at this point);
B) Tell him that you want to end your relationship with him (whether or not you tell him the whole truth being up to you), and adopt the clean break mentality in the hopes that both of you can and will get on with your lives better apart than together; or
C) Go back to what you had with him, hoping to keep what has happened a secret, and potentially risk longer-term hurt to both of you ...
The only question you need to ask yourself now is ... do you want to be in a relationship with this guy or not ?
If you do then I would urge you to do the right thing (and I trust you know in your heart of hearts what that is); and if you do not then I would suggest you consider whether it's worth continuing as you are, as the most obvious conclusion to the path you're on is that you're going to start resenting him for all the things he's not, and that's not fair on him, as it's at least a 50/50 thing that's brought you to this point I would assume ...
Also ? Assess the blame and be reasonable with it - rarely is anybody the antichrist they're painted as ... so be honest and be reasonable with yourself and with him.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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