12-05-2011, 11:16 PM
Ceru, you've talked before about wanting more from your relationship. The thing is, if you had just hooked up â I would say try to work things out but you were seeking intimacy which you say over and over is missing from your relationship.
You also sound like you are trying to tell yourself you love your bf and you most likely do for those initial feelings and what you once shared but honestly I don't get the sense that you are IN love anymore. I think you want to be. But, sometimes we do fall out of love; sometimes no matter how hard we want something to work out it just doesn't.
Also, the way you told your bf and some of the stuff you said â it's almost like you want him to break up with you. Maybe you consciously did this to PUSH the issue? Maybe you consciously did what you never thought you were capable of -- for a reason?
Have you thought about what life will be like if you stay with him and these same issues see-saw for 10-20 years or so? You say over and over that you need more intimacy and it seems to be more than lack of sex. Yes, he does have a part in this. Yes, you shouldn't have done what you did. I think you want someone to grab you sometimes :biggrin: and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Try to salvage a friendship.
I don't mean to sound preachy but a relationship is about two and it is more than âlove.â It's a decision. It's a responsibility. We become entrusted with each other's heart, entrusted with each other's body, and entrusted with each other's mind. Emotional fidelity is just as important as physical fidelity; you just cannot play mind games with the person you profess to love.
Come on, dude, be honest with yourself, stop the self-flagellation, free yourself in an HONORABLE way and explore your needs. You've learned something about yourself and what YOU need in a relationship. So, I would cut it, move on, do some soul-searching and know yourself a little better.
You also sound like you are trying to tell yourself you love your bf and you most likely do for those initial feelings and what you once shared but honestly I don't get the sense that you are IN love anymore. I think you want to be. But, sometimes we do fall out of love; sometimes no matter how hard we want something to work out it just doesn't.
Also, the way you told your bf and some of the stuff you said â it's almost like you want him to break up with you. Maybe you consciously did this to PUSH the issue? Maybe you consciously did what you never thought you were capable of -- for a reason?
Have you thought about what life will be like if you stay with him and these same issues see-saw for 10-20 years or so? You say over and over that you need more intimacy and it seems to be more than lack of sex. Yes, he does have a part in this. Yes, you shouldn't have done what you did. I think you want someone to grab you sometimes :biggrin: and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Try to salvage a friendship.
I don't mean to sound preachy but a relationship is about two and it is more than âlove.â It's a decision. It's a responsibility. We become entrusted with each other's heart, entrusted with each other's body, and entrusted with each other's mind. Emotional fidelity is just as important as physical fidelity; you just cannot play mind games with the person you profess to love.
Come on, dude, be honest with yourself, stop the self-flagellation, free yourself in an HONORABLE way and explore your needs. You've learned something about yourself and what YOU need in a relationship. So, I would cut it, move on, do some soul-searching and know yourself a little better.
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