12-09-2011, 04:41 PM
Hi Person66 
Way back before I came out of the closet I was so far in my closet I actually didn't think I was gay. It took a personal epiphany for it to become clear that 'yep I are one'. Like meeting the right man.
Self realization is like peeling an onion, you remove a layer to find yet one more layer beneath, remove that and you find another layer.
To a point sexuality is fluid because our character and personality is fluid to a point. I have known Atheists who swore up and down that there was no God have a personal epiphany and do a 180 and suddenly become a 'true believer'. I have seen men of strong faith become atheist, losing all faith that there is a God. Such a profound change in view has a profound change of the personality of a person. An experience can change us profoundly for life.
Currently (and hopefully for the rest of your life) you will undergo minor changes and a few major changes as you learn more about this world you currently reside on and yourself. Do expect changes, from minor personality quirkiness to major chances in your stance on many issues. This is you becoming more than the sum of your programing. It is what being human is about.
While your parents may have been open to the idea, society teaches you that to be gay is wrong. Even our very language teaches us this now days. Gay is used a negative as in 'that car is gay' meaning its not a good car, not that the car is homosexual.
--> That is a disturbing trend that no one talks about the use of gay as a negative.
At school you most likely were introduced to many of the negative words that are thrown out - from cock-sucker to sissy and everything in between. So while your parents may have taught its OK to be gay, the rest of society makes it perfectly clear that it ain't. While you may have intellectually reasoned away these words and actions of others, you can be certain that it left emotional marks on you.
While now days society is talking about homosexuality, and is pushing a general message toward 'acceptance', the reality is the war still wages between the old world view and the new world view. It is a struggle of emotion and words, one which may not be won for a few generations to come. Just like the race war still wages on - while equality of races exist in law and in theory, we know that racism still decides who's hired and who's fired while no one will openly say 'because your black'... we know what is going on.
You are aware to one level or another of this ongoing struggle. You may not be consciously thinking of it, but you do feel it.
Yes to some bisexuality is a transition phase, it is easier for them to come to accept themselves as bisexual first since it has less stigma in many ways than being merely gay.
However a larger number of 'true bisexuals' flux between gay and straight as self applied label depending on who they are with at the time. Bisexuals are 'frowned upon' by both gay and straight cultures. Thus to make things easier and to keep arguments to a minimum, a bisexual person will claim the title of gay when with a person of the same gender or straight when with a person of the other gender.
We humans are complex creatures, we strive to be individuals while stay socially acceptable. Society is currently undergoing a lot of pressures to change, and has been doing so for about 200 years changing how we view equality and what it is to be human.
That change will affect everyone of us on our discovery of what 'I' is.
Way back before I came out of the closet I was so far in my closet I actually didn't think I was gay. It took a personal epiphany for it to become clear that 'yep I are one'. Like meeting the right man.
Self realization is like peeling an onion, you remove a layer to find yet one more layer beneath, remove that and you find another layer.
To a point sexuality is fluid because our character and personality is fluid to a point. I have known Atheists who swore up and down that there was no God have a personal epiphany and do a 180 and suddenly become a 'true believer'. I have seen men of strong faith become atheist, losing all faith that there is a God. Such a profound change in view has a profound change of the personality of a person. An experience can change us profoundly for life.
Currently (and hopefully for the rest of your life) you will undergo minor changes and a few major changes as you learn more about this world you currently reside on and yourself. Do expect changes, from minor personality quirkiness to major chances in your stance on many issues. This is you becoming more than the sum of your programing. It is what being human is about.
While your parents may have been open to the idea, society teaches you that to be gay is wrong. Even our very language teaches us this now days. Gay is used a negative as in 'that car is gay' meaning its not a good car, not that the car is homosexual.
--> That is a disturbing trend that no one talks about the use of gay as a negative.
At school you most likely were introduced to many of the negative words that are thrown out - from cock-sucker to sissy and everything in between. So while your parents may have taught its OK to be gay, the rest of society makes it perfectly clear that it ain't. While you may have intellectually reasoned away these words and actions of others, you can be certain that it left emotional marks on you.
While now days society is talking about homosexuality, and is pushing a general message toward 'acceptance', the reality is the war still wages between the old world view and the new world view. It is a struggle of emotion and words, one which may not be won for a few generations to come. Just like the race war still wages on - while equality of races exist in law and in theory, we know that racism still decides who's hired and who's fired while no one will openly say 'because your black'... we know what is going on.
You are aware to one level or another of this ongoing struggle. You may not be consciously thinking of it, but you do feel it.
Yes to some bisexuality is a transition phase, it is easier for them to come to accept themselves as bisexual first since it has less stigma in many ways than being merely gay.
However a larger number of 'true bisexuals' flux between gay and straight as self applied label depending on who they are with at the time. Bisexuals are 'frowned upon' by both gay and straight cultures. Thus to make things easier and to keep arguments to a minimum, a bisexual person will claim the title of gay when with a person of the same gender or straight when with a person of the other gender.
We humans are complex creatures, we strive to be individuals while stay socially acceptable. Society is currently undergoing a lot of pressures to change, and has been doing so for about 200 years changing how we view equality and what it is to be human.
That change will affect everyone of us on our discovery of what 'I' is.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
