12-23-2011, 02:32 AM
I sympathize with you...completely. I have been in your shoes except not with the man I love (been with 25 years)...it was the one before him.
I ended up smashing everything he gave me and cutting up the silk scarves and robes (PUH-LEESE...I am SO NOT a silk scarf guy) and it was very satisfying....May I ask..does he make you show these thoughtless gifts to others? That is what the guy I was with did...he gave them to me to show them off to his friends...I hope that is not something you have to do as well because it is so humiliating.
...but the thing is...you love this man and you are happy otherwise...yes? My advice...consciously tell yourself how much you hate this behavior and then let it go...it doesn't seem worth it to let it take over your relationship and sometimes you just have to let some of the stuff go.
Getting past the anger can be a chore. One thing I start with...figure out if there is an underlying bigger issue at hand...like what exactly bothers you about the thoughtless gifts? Is it that he isn't seeing who you are? That can be a slap in the face for sure...and was there ever a time in your life that presented a similar situation?...where someone didn't see who you were and caused you great pain or anger? I don't know if that will work but it is the thing that works for me usually.
I wish you luck in coming to terms with this..I know how hard it can be, I flat out tell everyone these days not to buy me a gift and I insist on it...I tell them if they need to buy me something to make a donation to a few charities that are important to me.
I ended up smashing everything he gave me and cutting up the silk scarves and robes (PUH-LEESE...I am SO NOT a silk scarf guy) and it was very satisfying....May I ask..does he make you show these thoughtless gifts to others? That is what the guy I was with did...he gave them to me to show them off to his friends...I hope that is not something you have to do as well because it is so humiliating.
...but the thing is...you love this man and you are happy otherwise...yes? My advice...consciously tell yourself how much you hate this behavior and then let it go...it doesn't seem worth it to let it take over your relationship and sometimes you just have to let some of the stuff go.
Getting past the anger can be a chore. One thing I start with...figure out if there is an underlying bigger issue at hand...like what exactly bothers you about the thoughtless gifts? Is it that he isn't seeing who you are? That can be a slap in the face for sure...and was there ever a time in your life that presented a similar situation?...where someone didn't see who you were and caused you great pain or anger? I don't know if that will work but it is the thing that works for me usually.
I wish you luck in coming to terms with this..I know how hard it can be, I flat out tell everyone these days not to buy me a gift and I insist on it...I tell them if they need to buy me something to make a donation to a few charities that are important to me.
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