12-23-2011, 05:10 AM
He sounds clueless. I'd only say he's selfish if he uses the gifts when you don't want them, or like what East described (which would be about ego). Otherwise, he probably thinks that because he likes something then you must like it, too. It's amazing how many people think everybody else, at least deep down, are just like them and are baffled when others prefer different genres, music, clothes, etc. He may also have an ill advised desire to make sure you're surprised because he figures if you guess then it's no fun for you. But this is more stupidity than either selfishness or malice and should be counted as a flaw, IMO, not intentional disrespect.
And in my experience, I'd say nearly half the men who give me gifts are bad at it, and I mean enough that I sometimes volunteer to help close guy friends in getting gifts for someone else because I doubt their ability to do it. I try to remember that they did spend their hard earned money and time to get and wrap it up and when it's bad to try to have a sense of humor about it.
I think the one that made me laugh the most was a guy who liked me knew I trained in martial arts for years and sparred with my girlfriend so he got me something I'd like because of that, or so he told me (well, I did, but only because I can laugh about these things). So imagine my surprise when I opened it to find a vid of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I knew NOTHING of Mortal Kombat save that it was a video game of some kind (and recalled being vaguely disgusted at a pizza place where the demo of it had a guy rip out someone else's bloody spine which looked too much like the pizza sauce), and if you haven't seen this movie then I can't even tell you how ridiculous it was (though I liked the music). I didn't know it was possible for a movie to be that bad. He asked me what I thought so while I told him I laughed a few times (not specifying it was AT, not with, and also laughing that he thought this would appeal to me, have any interest for me, or that martial arts was anything like that) and enjoyed the soundtrack, but then I told him much more about the movies I DID like instead. So what was his next gift? Another Mortal Kombat movie. :eek:
My cousin whom I'm extremely close to (even if I haven't told him I'm a lesbian, though I think he's figured it out on his own) always loves my gifts (and I don't say that because he says so once, but because he repeatedly brings it up and talks about it in detail, like when I got him the Firefly dvds), but he's consistently gotten me gifts that were "meh" at best and sometimes even offensive to me (though his getting me a singing Billy Bass was so bad it was good, though my girlfriend at the time sincerely threatened to destroy it after I made it sing a half dozen times
). ETA: In case you never heard of a singing billy bass, here it is:
Anyway, I know it hurts your feelings, but if you can try to remember he means well and develop a sense of humor about it. I understand it's a flaw on his part, but nobody's perfect (we all have our flaws) and 15 years of love with a wonderful lover seems like a terrible thing to endanger by getting upset over his doing what you already know he's going to do (and btw, when I expect the worst I find it's easier to accept what happens, and also much easier to be pleasantly surprised).
And in my experience, I'd say nearly half the men who give me gifts are bad at it, and I mean enough that I sometimes volunteer to help close guy friends in getting gifts for someone else because I doubt their ability to do it. I try to remember that they did spend their hard earned money and time to get and wrap it up and when it's bad to try to have a sense of humor about it.
I think the one that made me laugh the most was a guy who liked me knew I trained in martial arts for years and sparred with my girlfriend so he got me something I'd like because of that, or so he told me (well, I did, but only because I can laugh about these things). So imagine my surprise when I opened it to find a vid of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I knew NOTHING of Mortal Kombat save that it was a video game of some kind (and recalled being vaguely disgusted at a pizza place where the demo of it had a guy rip out someone else's bloody spine which looked too much like the pizza sauce), and if you haven't seen this movie then I can't even tell you how ridiculous it was (though I liked the music). I didn't know it was possible for a movie to be that bad. He asked me what I thought so while I told him I laughed a few times (not specifying it was AT, not with, and also laughing that he thought this would appeal to me, have any interest for me, or that martial arts was anything like that) and enjoyed the soundtrack, but then I told him much more about the movies I DID like instead. So what was his next gift? Another Mortal Kombat movie. :eek:
My cousin whom I'm extremely close to (even if I haven't told him I'm a lesbian, though I think he's figured it out on his own) always loves my gifts (and I don't say that because he says so once, but because he repeatedly brings it up and talks about it in detail, like when I got him the Firefly dvds), but he's consistently gotten me gifts that were "meh" at best and sometimes even offensive to me (though his getting me a singing Billy Bass was so bad it was good, though my girlfriend at the time sincerely threatened to destroy it after I made it sing a half dozen times
). ETA: In case you never heard of a singing billy bass, here it is:Anyway, I know it hurts your feelings, but if you can try to remember he means well and develop a sense of humor about it. I understand it's a flaw on his part, but nobody's perfect (we all have our flaws) and 15 years of love with a wonderful lover seems like a terrible thing to endanger by getting upset over his doing what you already know he's going to do (and btw, when I expect the worst I find it's easier to accept what happens, and also much easier to be pleasantly surprised).
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