01-01-2012, 12:01 AM
I haven't seen a therapist... I have seen many - there were two who quit while I was their patient... I assumed my horror stories were a bit too much for them 
.
Basically what a therapist does is help you to direct your 'talking'.
S/he will ask you a gazillion times 'And how does that make you feel?'.
This annoying parroted phrase will become the phrase you most likely hate the most, however it is essential and a decent therapist will ask it at the right time getting you to stop in your thoughts and actually think about how you are feeling or how this thing makes you feel.
I have had many minor eureka moments with therapists all because they caused me to stop and ponder the item I am discussing from a different perspective.
Another thing a therapist will do is give you 'tools' to deal with and work through issues.
EXAMPLE: I have flash-backs. Before the days of the internet I had to rely on a therapist to teach me this: http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/2006...backs.html
Identifying my triggers was problematic for me in many instances, its 'complicated' - my therapist(s) walked through my day to day life, got me to question things happening before and during the flashback thus helping me to identify 'triggers' that 'set me off'.
Through the decades just knowing that X will Trigger C has helped a great deal. Instead of traveling on the way back machine and playing out the event(s) of the past, I can pretty much halt the process. Yes I experience the same emotional memories (the feelings) but I do not always 'live through' the event(s) like they are a movie.
A therapist will help you to identify things that are outside of the nominal parameters of human experience. AKA - "normal". Most of us who are in therapy have no idea what is 'normal' and what is not. We have come to expect pain as being 'normal' for Y because that is what we have always known. While healthy folk do not experience pain when Y happens. We need someone to point out that Y is not supposed to hurt, and once we can identify this 'fact' we can see what we need to do to 'cope with' and 'get around' the pain of Y.
Most of my drinking and using drugs were due to self medicating. I used alcohol to 'treat' my summer mania, I used cocaine and meth (primarily) to treat my winter blues. I also used to escape lots of pain from events in my life. I craved alcohol and drugs for years - I was a 'dry drunk' - Meaning while I wasn't drinking I was constantly thinking about drinking/using.
Until I started dealing with the underlying issues and until I discovered that I am not bi-polar nor am I chronically depressed, I suffer from seasonal affected disorder where light and temperature sets me on highs and lows. Once a therapist helped me to pull back the layers of the onion and see more of my life and understand where I am/was my cravings to 'self medicate' were strong.
I can (and have on rare occasions) had a (just one) alcoholic drink. I drank because I wanted to, not because I needed to. I had one drink and was able to move on without the terrible need to have another drink and another and another. While AA and NA did help me to quit the self destructive downward spiral, it was a therapist who helped me to see the 'why' behind my addictions that relieved me of the 'need' to use/drink - mostly. There are times when I need a drink. Today I can clearly identify those times and know when to steer clear of the spirits.
Therapy is a processes, a long drawn out slow revelation of yourself to yourself.
There are no quick fixes, there are few instant answers. There will, most likely, be many minor epiphanies along the way. Over time you will gain a sense of perspective and learn tools to deal with those 'bad moments'. You will learn the coping skills.
No - you will not be cured, no those events that caused whatever will not just evaporate, they are with you for life. What will change is your perspective on those events and how you allow those events to govern today.
.Basically what a therapist does is help you to direct your 'talking'.
S/he will ask you a gazillion times 'And how does that make you feel?'.
This annoying parroted phrase will become the phrase you most likely hate the most, however it is essential and a decent therapist will ask it at the right time getting you to stop in your thoughts and actually think about how you are feeling or how this thing makes you feel.
I have had many minor eureka moments with therapists all because they caused me to stop and ponder the item I am discussing from a different perspective.
Another thing a therapist will do is give you 'tools' to deal with and work through issues.
EXAMPLE: I have flash-backs. Before the days of the internet I had to rely on a therapist to teach me this: http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/2006...backs.html
Identifying my triggers was problematic for me in many instances, its 'complicated' - my therapist(s) walked through my day to day life, got me to question things happening before and during the flashback thus helping me to identify 'triggers' that 'set me off'.
Through the decades just knowing that X will Trigger C has helped a great deal. Instead of traveling on the way back machine and playing out the event(s) of the past, I can pretty much halt the process. Yes I experience the same emotional memories (the feelings) but I do not always 'live through' the event(s) like they are a movie.
A therapist will help you to identify things that are outside of the nominal parameters of human experience. AKA - "normal". Most of us who are in therapy have no idea what is 'normal' and what is not. We have come to expect pain as being 'normal' for Y because that is what we have always known. While healthy folk do not experience pain when Y happens. We need someone to point out that Y is not supposed to hurt, and once we can identify this 'fact' we can see what we need to do to 'cope with' and 'get around' the pain of Y.
Most of my drinking and using drugs were due to self medicating. I used alcohol to 'treat' my summer mania, I used cocaine and meth (primarily) to treat my winter blues. I also used to escape lots of pain from events in my life. I craved alcohol and drugs for years - I was a 'dry drunk' - Meaning while I wasn't drinking I was constantly thinking about drinking/using.
Until I started dealing with the underlying issues and until I discovered that I am not bi-polar nor am I chronically depressed, I suffer from seasonal affected disorder where light and temperature sets me on highs and lows. Once a therapist helped me to pull back the layers of the onion and see more of my life and understand where I am/was my cravings to 'self medicate' were strong.
I can (and have on rare occasions) had a (just one) alcoholic drink. I drank because I wanted to, not because I needed to. I had one drink and was able to move on without the terrible need to have another drink and another and another. While AA and NA did help me to quit the self destructive downward spiral, it was a therapist who helped me to see the 'why' behind my addictions that relieved me of the 'need' to use/drink - mostly. There are times when I need a drink. Today I can clearly identify those times and know when to steer clear of the spirits.
Therapy is a processes, a long drawn out slow revelation of yourself to yourself.
There are no quick fixes, there are few instant answers. There will, most likely, be many minor epiphanies along the way. Over time you will gain a sense of perspective and learn tools to deal with those 'bad moments'. You will learn the coping skills.
No - you will not be cured, no those events that caused whatever will not just evaporate, they are with you for life. What will change is your perspective on those events and how you allow those events to govern today.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
