01-16-2012, 11:16 AM
Hello,
I figured id tell you my story as i have been in a long relationship of 6 years... Some of the aspects we have in common... To begin with im 26 and my boyfriend is 34... At times i feel the adult in situations whereby his going out to get absolutely slaughtered and i end up reminding him the next day EVERYONE LIKES A DRINK BUT NO ONE LIKES A DRUNK! This then causes a arguement at times about him insisting his not an alcoholic his a binge drinker when to me they are both alcohol problems regardless of moderation... Well i found that because i ran out of money for the pub he has set up a bar tab and its been run upto £50 now which is bloody scary thought to get invovled with.
You stated your partner can be immature... I am alot of the time but im also sensible in the aspect of payday ill make sure my bills are paid and my mortgage hasnt been in default otherwise its two lots the following month. The fighting we experience in our relationship is mainly down to money and drinking because I end up loosing my temper and shouting and screaming but alot of the time i wont raise my voice because ive got animals and dont feel its fair on them to have a full blown arguement so save it for when we are out driving and can shout in the car at each other..
It is agreeable in both relationships of yours and mine that answering to a partner is a bloody no no... It really annoys me when i feel ive got to justify why im late or i get moaned at because im talking to someone my boyfriend doesnt like yet to me its just someone im friends with.. With regards to you mentioning your partner asks who was on the phone i will admit I do this with my boyfriend because ever since i was little me mum and my family all ask each other who was on the phone and then when told they are like oh ok what they want... This is the same with me and my boyfriend I always ask him who was that on the phone because its out of habit... I would ask if your boyfriend does this from a habit or from a protective motion...? Yet again i admit i do stare over my boyfriends shoulder when he texts or facebooks someone because its curiousity and being a nosy bastard i admit.. Not because im jelous ive told people before when they say my boyfriend has done this and that ive replied... Oh thats nice well they can have him if they want him saves me getting a headache..
Maybe you want to remind ya boyfriend what i reminded mine on looking at talent.... WINDOW SHOPPING IS HARMLESS... ITS STEALING GOODS THAT GET YOU INTO TROUBLE! I would also suggest that your boyfriend may be slightly in secure about his self esteem and this could be why he goes mad when you go check out other talent which is lying around. Overtime he should be told that looking is harmless and he should understand that his not going to loose you to someone who you dont even know.. If he asks next time why you dont want to argue infront of someone tell him blunty Its not a good image to air dirty laundry in public... If youn want to air yours thats fine but i wont be responding...
Now with the mortgage I suggest to you that if the bills come out of your account you possibly do what I do with my boyfriend and that is every payday I withdraw upto £1000 depending on bills from my boyfriends account and put it into mine... This is his half of the bills and if he only has £150 left then thats his play money.. I dont bail him out and he wont bail me out end of!. You need to be stern with your boyfriend and lay down some rules and explain to him that paying bills is first and then you move onto fun times.. I did this by opening a database in microsoft and putting my bills into a sheet so i know whats going out how much is going out and when its due to. I added up all my debts from people I owe money to the organisations I owe money to... At the end of the day as long as my mortgage is paid and my council tax i dont care what the outcome is with the rest they have to wait.. Your boyfriend needs to be more money aware and if you dont tell him as things are he can run riot... Draw up some rules of the house for you BOTH to abide by and work together on getting these rules made... I did this with my boyfriend to enable us to be together this long because if my life didnt start taking off soon id end up going bloody mad inside...
With regards to sex why wont he perform??? I think what you guys need is to go on a date... Treat him to a film at the cinema and then from there go bowling or something make it all special again and tell him you want to work with him as a couple to re ignite everything you both have going for you... Tell him you want to give a break from the pubs for a few weeks and focus on you both as all the time you are ignoring the situation the problem wont be going away... I had to do this once with my boyfriend when he went through a bad drinking patch and i had to pull him into line about the amount he was regularly drinking at the best of times as we were on a rocky slope which was only going to go down and ended up with us taking a year break...
This chatting up people online and having flings etc can be regretful however the fact only you know about it i would say its time to forgive yaself for it and learn to be stronger willed... Talk to your boyfriend and if your in the mood for some hanky panky give him a taste of flirting... When he gets angry at you kill the anger moment by saying You know what??? You lookl bloody sexy when your angry.... So sexy i think u mister need a big massive fucked off kiss and just walk upto him and face plant one it works with my boyfriend and everytime he argues with me i turn to kiss him until he stops arguing....
I can understand how it isnht as easy to walk away in a situation like yours.. With regards to the mortgage if its a fixed rate mortgage for a contracted number of years 1 3 or 5 then see it out and before you renew it see how you feel about the relationship as then you can sell the property without any penalties with the mortgage company... His family may have a lawyer however lawyers cannot represent their own family or friends as that is something that can be seen as favouritism.. My sister is going to eventually be a lawyer and she was the one who informed me of this...
Well if you need someone to unload some things onto feel free to get in touch... I will try to answer experiences either as how id deal with or or if ive experienced a situation ill talk and compare with yas
Kindest regards
zeon x
I figured id tell you my story as i have been in a long relationship of 6 years... Some of the aspects we have in common... To begin with im 26 and my boyfriend is 34... At times i feel the adult in situations whereby his going out to get absolutely slaughtered and i end up reminding him the next day EVERYONE LIKES A DRINK BUT NO ONE LIKES A DRUNK! This then causes a arguement at times about him insisting his not an alcoholic his a binge drinker when to me they are both alcohol problems regardless of moderation... Well i found that because i ran out of money for the pub he has set up a bar tab and its been run upto £50 now which is bloody scary thought to get invovled with.
You stated your partner can be immature... I am alot of the time but im also sensible in the aspect of payday ill make sure my bills are paid and my mortgage hasnt been in default otherwise its two lots the following month. The fighting we experience in our relationship is mainly down to money and drinking because I end up loosing my temper and shouting and screaming but alot of the time i wont raise my voice because ive got animals and dont feel its fair on them to have a full blown arguement so save it for when we are out driving and can shout in the car at each other..
It is agreeable in both relationships of yours and mine that answering to a partner is a bloody no no... It really annoys me when i feel ive got to justify why im late or i get moaned at because im talking to someone my boyfriend doesnt like yet to me its just someone im friends with.. With regards to you mentioning your partner asks who was on the phone i will admit I do this with my boyfriend because ever since i was little me mum and my family all ask each other who was on the phone and then when told they are like oh ok what they want... This is the same with me and my boyfriend I always ask him who was that on the phone because its out of habit... I would ask if your boyfriend does this from a habit or from a protective motion...? Yet again i admit i do stare over my boyfriends shoulder when he texts or facebooks someone because its curiousity and being a nosy bastard i admit.. Not because im jelous ive told people before when they say my boyfriend has done this and that ive replied... Oh thats nice well they can have him if they want him saves me getting a headache..
Maybe you want to remind ya boyfriend what i reminded mine on looking at talent.... WINDOW SHOPPING IS HARMLESS... ITS STEALING GOODS THAT GET YOU INTO TROUBLE! I would also suggest that your boyfriend may be slightly in secure about his self esteem and this could be why he goes mad when you go check out other talent which is lying around. Overtime he should be told that looking is harmless and he should understand that his not going to loose you to someone who you dont even know.. If he asks next time why you dont want to argue infront of someone tell him blunty Its not a good image to air dirty laundry in public... If youn want to air yours thats fine but i wont be responding...
Now with the mortgage I suggest to you that if the bills come out of your account you possibly do what I do with my boyfriend and that is every payday I withdraw upto £1000 depending on bills from my boyfriends account and put it into mine... This is his half of the bills and if he only has £150 left then thats his play money.. I dont bail him out and he wont bail me out end of!. You need to be stern with your boyfriend and lay down some rules and explain to him that paying bills is first and then you move onto fun times.. I did this by opening a database in microsoft and putting my bills into a sheet so i know whats going out how much is going out and when its due to. I added up all my debts from people I owe money to the organisations I owe money to... At the end of the day as long as my mortgage is paid and my council tax i dont care what the outcome is with the rest they have to wait.. Your boyfriend needs to be more money aware and if you dont tell him as things are he can run riot... Draw up some rules of the house for you BOTH to abide by and work together on getting these rules made... I did this with my boyfriend to enable us to be together this long because if my life didnt start taking off soon id end up going bloody mad inside...
With regards to sex why wont he perform??? I think what you guys need is to go on a date... Treat him to a film at the cinema and then from there go bowling or something make it all special again and tell him you want to work with him as a couple to re ignite everything you both have going for you... Tell him you want to give a break from the pubs for a few weeks and focus on you both as all the time you are ignoring the situation the problem wont be going away... I had to do this once with my boyfriend when he went through a bad drinking patch and i had to pull him into line about the amount he was regularly drinking at the best of times as we were on a rocky slope which was only going to go down and ended up with us taking a year break...
This chatting up people online and having flings etc can be regretful however the fact only you know about it i would say its time to forgive yaself for it and learn to be stronger willed... Talk to your boyfriend and if your in the mood for some hanky panky give him a taste of flirting... When he gets angry at you kill the anger moment by saying You know what??? You lookl bloody sexy when your angry.... So sexy i think u mister need a big massive fucked off kiss and just walk upto him and face plant one it works with my boyfriend and everytime he argues with me i turn to kiss him until he stops arguing....
I can understand how it isnht as easy to walk away in a situation like yours.. With regards to the mortgage if its a fixed rate mortgage for a contracted number of years 1 3 or 5 then see it out and before you renew it see how you feel about the relationship as then you can sell the property without any penalties with the mortgage company... His family may have a lawyer however lawyers cannot represent their own family or friends as that is something that can be seen as favouritism.. My sister is going to eventually be a lawyer and she was the one who informed me of this...
Well if you need someone to unload some things onto feel free to get in touch... I will try to answer experiences either as how id deal with or or if ive experienced a situation ill talk and compare with yas
Kindest regards
zeon x
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