02-11-2012, 04:12 AM
I'm coming off sounding like I don't care, like I'm the bad guy in these posts.
I think you're right about the intuition, Bowyn. I do my best to keep on going and make this relationship be worthwhile and last, but I'm sure somewhere inside she knows something's wrong.
A lot of our problems stem from beyond just this issue, and I didn't bring them up because I actually never have on this forum and I wasn't really looking to make her look bad.
I don't want to get in to those things, because I don't feel the need to. But I am concerned about the love lost, in a sense. I don't like the idea of starting over with someone new, of losing all the time and effort we both put in to this relationship. Makes it feel like it was all for nothing, and I hate that idea. But on the other hand, I damn near ended it before this man-obsession. Back in the summer when our problems came to a head, I broke up with her for about an hour until I agreed to give her another chance. Even though it would've screwed me over, I still did it anyway and I wasn't driven at that time by the thought of greener pastures.
And I'm trying not to idolize the idea of being with a man, because men and women aren't perfect. I have to really try not to be so self-absorbed, to show interest in something she likes that I normally wouldn't care about, and I have to try and make myself talk. I'm more quiet and introverted in person and she's not, for example.
She's not nearly as independent as you sound, Rainbow. I wish she was. It's not that she doesn't take care of herself or of us, she has a job and she can cook and clean and that sort of basic stuff. It's just, she basically has me at the center of her world and thus wants ALL of my attention whenever we're together, and she still wants me chatting with her online or texting or calling when we're not together. I am a very independent person in the sense that I don't need hardly any personal interaction most of the time.
We both have our own interests, but we rarely do anything seperately when we're together. That might work for other couples, but I just wish I had a bit more alone time than what I currently do now. And maybe I'm just being stupid and petty, because I don't have it bad. I really just end up feeling forced to do what might make "us" happy when we're together because otherwise, I'll feel guilty and she'll feel pouty and guilt-trip me a bit more.
But there's not much I can do about it now, as I've said. It's a wait-and-see situation. I'm just anxious
I think you're right about the intuition, Bowyn. I do my best to keep on going and make this relationship be worthwhile and last, but I'm sure somewhere inside she knows something's wrong.
A lot of our problems stem from beyond just this issue, and I didn't bring them up because I actually never have on this forum and I wasn't really looking to make her look bad.
I don't want to get in to those things, because I don't feel the need to. But I am concerned about the love lost, in a sense. I don't like the idea of starting over with someone new, of losing all the time and effort we both put in to this relationship. Makes it feel like it was all for nothing, and I hate that idea. But on the other hand, I damn near ended it before this man-obsession. Back in the summer when our problems came to a head, I broke up with her for about an hour until I agreed to give her another chance. Even though it would've screwed me over, I still did it anyway and I wasn't driven at that time by the thought of greener pastures.
And I'm trying not to idolize the idea of being with a man, because men and women aren't perfect. I have to really try not to be so self-absorbed, to show interest in something she likes that I normally wouldn't care about, and I have to try and make myself talk. I'm more quiet and introverted in person and she's not, for example.
She's not nearly as independent as you sound, Rainbow. I wish she was. It's not that she doesn't take care of herself or of us, she has a job and she can cook and clean and that sort of basic stuff. It's just, she basically has me at the center of her world and thus wants ALL of my attention whenever we're together, and she still wants me chatting with her online or texting or calling when we're not together. I am a very independent person in the sense that I don't need hardly any personal interaction most of the time.
We both have our own interests, but we rarely do anything seperately when we're together. That might work for other couples, but I just wish I had a bit more alone time than what I currently do now. And maybe I'm just being stupid and petty, because I don't have it bad. I really just end up feeling forced to do what might make "us" happy when we're together because otherwise, I'll feel guilty and she'll feel pouty and guilt-trip me a bit more.
But there's not much I can do about it now, as I've said. It's a wait-and-see situation. I'm just anxious
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