Complete Life Make Over

[Jay]

Hey Guys,
I need some advice well more like guidance as I'm planning on having a total life make over, improving myself and getting rid of the negative things in my life. Short story short I have never been that confident a person since I was really young, I was the shy one and didn't want to ever talk to anyone and I feel this has affected me later in life with confidence and stuff. Also in terms of how I look I would say that Im not particularly good looking, some people have said I'm good looking but I don't see it at all, I dunno I just see me. Well when I was younger maybe 16 I was quite overweight I weighed about 20 stone which is about 289lbs even though I'm a big lad and quite tall this is quite overweight, I lost the weight and got down to about 16 stone and started doing martial arts, my weight since then has never shifted and I'm, perfectly healthy and do loads of exercise etc.

First of all let me congratulate you for your success in weight loss. Weight loss is not an easy task but you've made it. So congrats and give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Mrk2010, so some people say you are good looking? Please take their words and accept that you are good looking with pride. Other people usually can see things that ourselves can't see. Always do remember that we are usually the worst critics to ourselves.

As of late I'm not happy with the way I look I pick every little detail out about myself and I want to change it, my teeth, my hair, my body etc. Just when you see guys out on the gay scene they are stunning and then there's me not good looking at all. I know it's bad truth be told I want to be plastic, I want the perfect body, hair and teeth and then maybe I'll be able to attract more decent looking guys. I'm even starting a £250 course of teeth whitening tomorrow to achieve this. In terms of my weight the doctor has even said that for y body type I'm ok, but I want better.

I think a makeover like self grooming, changing hairstyle, wearing contact lens and changing your fashion style is fine. That's normal. But to be frank, even all these can't help you if you are lack with self esteem.

A true life make over actually comes from within you. What you are inside will shape who you are outside. What's the point of looking perfect from head to toe if you are cluttered inside?

My office is located right in the middle of gay spot. I see countless of gorgeous gay guys every single day. Perfect height, flawless skin, sharp fashion sense, slender waist etc. All of them are beautiful but y'know, the more I see them every day, the more bland and plain they become.

The main problem that I see with most of these guys is that they lack with identity and individuality because all of them 'look' the same. Everyone's chasing to look perfect and they do their best to hide the smallest imperfection that they have. That's a pity because your imperfection is essential to make you different and special from the rest.

Another thing. Most of these guys worry a lot with their appearances to look perfectly stunning everyday. You don't think there's nothing wrong with their self esteem over there? They are being driven and pressured by their surroundings and people around them.

If you think giving your appearance a makeover is what you need, go for it. Groom all you can with your appearance but don't forget to groom your self esteem and confidence too. Without self esteem and confidence, you are still the same guy before you've had your makeover.

Always remember that nobody is perfect. Perfectionism can paralyze your life and you for a long term. Realize your limits. Exploit your strengths and be proud with your strengths. Conquer your self esteem and you will defeat all you weaknesses.

If you need to talk in private, I'm all ears. mile: