02-14-2012, 11:21 PM
I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this has been said in some way already.
I'm one of those here who have told you that you are good looking. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, but I understand the perception you have of yourself. You said that you don't see anything special when you see your reflection, just you. There's nothing wrong with you, or your weight. It's great to strive for self improvement, but you've already had exercises in self-confidence and I thought those had paid off pretty well for you.
But nonetheless, you want to look better to attract guys. Either way man, appearances are a big part of life but they aren't everything. Boweyn Arrow said it pretty well, that if you ended up looking like a plastic pretty boy, you'd just get lots of shallow attention. I mean sure, there'd be good ones somewhere out there dreaming of you too, but they wouldn't make a move on you because they'd be feeling like they wouldn't be good enough. And do you think you'd really seek them out after you started getting that kind of attention? I doubt it, you wouldn't feel the need.
Teeth whitening isn't a bad idea though, I dunno the state of your teeth but damn I could use some myself. I took such horrid care of my teeth throughout my childhood, and even some of my teen/adult life. It's like my teeth are a permanent stained yellow or something, I am not happy about it, but I brought it on myself and I have to live with it til I can afford to get it fixed.
Your personal stuff, I'm not sure where you're coming from exactly. I had to go and find your other post (which somehow I completely missed despite it being several pages). I only read your initial thread-starter from it to save a bit of time, but I see your point. Too many people (both men and women) thinking with their privates. I'd imagine that amongst gay men, it'd be even more ramped up. After all, the stereotype is that men are generally more sex driven than women. Seems to me that men usually are allowed to be more open and obvious about it, women are taught to hide it. So, you take a bunch of guys who want to have sex with other guys and not really build anything more from it, and the result is tons of "open relationships" and flings and shit.
Not that I'm saying an open relationship is impossible, but what I'm talking about is guys who are "together" more for sex than anything.
You will be in a pretty bad way if you end up hating men though, because...well, you're gay, completely gay as far as I know, so you'd probably end up really depressed if you couldn't bring yourself to continue trying to find a decent man. And I do believe there are plenty of decent men out there, ones who aren't sex-crazed or douchebags. If you're getting tired of the gay community, that's fine man. Hang out with whoever makes you feel good, you'll eventually find someone like-minded to yourself and it'll be on!
It's ok to be jealous of other people who have what you perceive to be a happy relationship, but just remember they were once in the same position you're in. They had to find that somebody first.
I'm one of those here who have told you that you are good looking. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, but I understand the perception you have of yourself. You said that you don't see anything special when you see your reflection, just you. There's nothing wrong with you, or your weight. It's great to strive for self improvement, but you've already had exercises in self-confidence and I thought those had paid off pretty well for you.
But nonetheless, you want to look better to attract guys. Either way man, appearances are a big part of life but they aren't everything. Boweyn Arrow said it pretty well, that if you ended up looking like a plastic pretty boy, you'd just get lots of shallow attention. I mean sure, there'd be good ones somewhere out there dreaming of you too, but they wouldn't make a move on you because they'd be feeling like they wouldn't be good enough. And do you think you'd really seek them out after you started getting that kind of attention? I doubt it, you wouldn't feel the need.
Teeth whitening isn't a bad idea though, I dunno the state of your teeth but damn I could use some myself. I took such horrid care of my teeth throughout my childhood, and even some of my teen/adult life. It's like my teeth are a permanent stained yellow or something, I am not happy about it, but I brought it on myself and I have to live with it til I can afford to get it fixed.
Your personal stuff, I'm not sure where you're coming from exactly. I had to go and find your other post (which somehow I completely missed despite it being several pages). I only read your initial thread-starter from it to save a bit of time, but I see your point. Too many people (both men and women) thinking with their privates. I'd imagine that amongst gay men, it'd be even more ramped up. After all, the stereotype is that men are generally more sex driven than women. Seems to me that men usually are allowed to be more open and obvious about it, women are taught to hide it. So, you take a bunch of guys who want to have sex with other guys and not really build anything more from it, and the result is tons of "open relationships" and flings and shit.
Not that I'm saying an open relationship is impossible, but what I'm talking about is guys who are "together" more for sex than anything.
You will be in a pretty bad way if you end up hating men though, because...well, you're gay, completely gay as far as I know, so you'd probably end up really depressed if you couldn't bring yourself to continue trying to find a decent man. And I do believe there are plenty of decent men out there, ones who aren't sex-crazed or douchebags. If you're getting tired of the gay community, that's fine man. Hang out with whoever makes you feel good, you'll eventually find someone like-minded to yourself and it'll be on!
It's ok to be jealous of other people who have what you perceive to be a happy relationship, but just remember they were once in the same position you're in. They had to find that somebody first.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
