Cowardice?

[rjay]

Sometimes, I feel like a coward, because I hold so much back because I am hiding who I am. I am afraid, with my family, friends, and career even, that I will loose everything. It is making me crazy sometimes, thinking i have all these things great in my life but the one thing I don't have is love. So, I drive myself into other things, career, music, computers. But they don't fullfill me, and it sucks. Been in a couple of serious relationships, and even thought I was inlove once, but I come to the realization I my head might say I love her, but my libido is like, I want him. And even typing this is hard for me. Maybe I am the product of the times I grew up in or the culture that I am a part of, I feel like I have to go away and seperate from family and friends in order to pursue this, Am I wrong.. Its good to get these feeling outside, because I am seriously in an Emo rut..lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Are you wrong about what?

Are you wrong about how you feel? Or are you wrong about being a product of your era?

I have expended a huge amount of money into therapists who do three things:

1. Nod and make affirmative noises.

2. Say 'how does that make you feel' every ten minutes or more depending on how fast I'm spewing my load of crap out.

3. Tell me that my emotions are valid and that 'No you are not insane for having emotions like _______________'.

Sooooo. How does all of this (what you said) make you Feel?

BTW you owe me $230.00 for this session, speak to the receptionist on the way out the door and see you next week

[OsirisGuy23]

I hear you man, LOUD and clear...really I do! I'm thinking until you do actually accept yourself for being gay it won't get any better in your head/heart...you're gonna carry it like a weight, and with too many weights NOTHING will keep you afloat for too long....no career, no song, no relationship....you'll just be dragging yourself down, and all the things you started creating with you...I get what you mean when you say you feel like a coward, but you're not man, because you're coming to terms with it....it's hard when you feel like that "american dream" that society shows to us doesn't come with a "guy" in it, but that's an individual choice.

You can skip the therapy bills by grabbing a guy, and making him see things "YOUR WAY"! lol

[rjay]

Are you wrong about what?

Are you wrong about how you feel? Or are you wrong about being a product of your era?

I have expended a huge amount of money into therapists who do three things:

1. Nod and make affirmative noises.

2. Say 'how does that make you feel' every ten minutes or more depending on how fast I'm spewing my load of crap out.

3. Tell me that my emotions are valid and that 'No you are not insane for having emotions like _______________'.

Sooooo. How does all of this (what you said) make you Feel?

BTW you owe me $230.00 for this session, speak to the receptionist on the way out the door and see you next week

Hahaa, can I get an IOU? holla... Anyway, thanks for the reply, and saving me a lot of money. It makes me feel good to let it all out like that, It feels freeing.. mile:

[rjay]

I hear you man, LOUD and clear...really I do! I'm thinking until you do actually accept yourself for being gay it won't get any better in your head/heart...you're gonna carry it like a weight, and with too many weights NOTHING will keep you afloat for too long....no career, no song, no relationship....you'll just be dragging yourself down, and all the things you started creating with you...I get what you mean when you say you feel like a coward, but you're not man, because you're coming to terms with it....it's hard when you feel like that "american dream" that society shows to us doesn't come with a "guy" in it, but that's an individual choice.

You can skip the therapy bills by grabbing a guy, and making him see things "YOUR WAY"! lol

Yeah, I think I have tried everything in the book to not be what I think I am, and I actually feel fake. And, once I thought that I might be, I could never get into a serious relationship because I felt bad for the peson I am trying to date. Everyone like, why are yoou single, yada yada yada.. haha. And It feels like I work hard to achieve all this stuff, but I am missing something, that weighing heavily on me. First step though is to talk about, and this is actually the first time I did. THanks!mile:

[Rainbowmum]

rjay self acceptance is the most important thing in your life.
Dance to your own music , be true to yourself and love who you are, until you do that , you cannot love another.

[DarkDaisuke]

I'm glad you're feeling good enough to vent Most people don't. Anyways, you're not wrong. You'll find the right time to tell those you love. Coming out is a HUGE personal thing for everyone. Now if you know your loved ones will accept you and have no problem with being gay or whatever, that's cowardice. Seeing someone being picked on and not doing something is cowardice. You're being cautious at best. You're afraid and that's fine Just give it time, find out who you are, and then decide when is best for you to tell them.

[fredv3b]

Discretion is the better part of valour.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk