A Poem

[MindsMight]

This is something I started doodling with when I was rather angry.
The Diagnosis.
God forbid they be torn open,
the seams across the flesh.
I can no longer differentiate
this convoluted mesh.

God forbid the diagnosis.
We have our secrets to keep.
God forbid we hear again
that the future looks bleak.

God forbid we say
that which we all know.
God forbid the seams split
and we let each other go.

God forbid these chords be thrown
for seams seem as strict as silence
to what we've all known
and God forbid be shown.

[Prometheus]

*applause* Nice poem : )
The flow is very precise and strong, it feels angry.

I love poetry... Please post more :redface:



[SIZE="1"]Constructive Criticism: (Don't read if you're not the type for it)!!!
I recommend swapping differentiate for another three syllabic phrase or word so as to keep the meter of the stanza flawless....--- and maybe add a 'so bleak' or 'too bleak' or something so it's balanced in the second. The other two flow perfect. : ))))[/SIZE]

[MindsMight]

Thank you very much for reading

I very much appreciate constructive criticism. It helps you grow as a writer.

[Bookworm]

Great poem MindsMight. Poetry is an excellent tool for channeling out all our angst and getting rid of negativity. Nicely done.

[zeon]

nice poem mister

[Zet]

Great poem

[MindsMight]

Thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it!

Bookworm: I know riiight? After it's out of your body in one form or another you feel free from it.

[Rainbowmum]

Very nice.