i've also had my share of virtual relationships, but they are all dead ends if there is no actual physical contact (and no i don't mean sex). the issue is tricky because on one hand many of the things that get lost because of the internet (voice / tone of voice, open talk, gaze, gestures, expressions, touches, kisses... even a well placed silence is important!) make the relationship doomed to fail from the very beginning. two people cannot share a true connection when they are really absent from the other's life - physically. the internet is a great way to meet people but a very bad way of keeping them close after a while. the thing is one gets to substitute the things that are missing (see above) by one's own imagination, and usually one tends to accomodate all of them to one's needs. great kisser, great sexual feeling, he was nervous - not being stupid, he has a laid back attitude etc. all these are misleading, some even when the person is in front of you, let alone hundreds of kilometers away, in front of a computer screen. you can never tell anything except what the person will share, and that can be a rephrased, distorted, false image of reality. not the real thing. not by far. so the person you're falling in love with is only half real, the rest is just bits and pieces of your own imagination. sometimes those things ring true, but more often than not they don't BECAUSE they're idealized to start with! until two people meet, face-to-face, talk, have common experiences, develop a bond... you are in love with a ghost, albeit a very beautiful one. this is where the "on the other hand" part comes. on the other hand, the virtual experience is very intense because it lets you dream, living in the imagination anything is possible. idealized scenarios, possible futures, wishes coming true... it's a hyper-reality that you subconsciously alter to make better, because let's face it, we all want some form of ideal person. a virtual relationship can make you live out your fantasies and make you climb higher, but - sadly - just to make you drop harder than ever... if you don't meet the guy in person in a certain period of time (it's already starting to be questionable), the illusion will break and you will end up with a feeling of cold indifference or even rejection. it's important to meet, but even if you do remember that the things you filled in yourself about him might be totally different in reality - or maybe not. virtual love is beautiful, is divine, but is ultimately crucially flawed in the sense that it's only partially real. i learned the hard way... it goes up just as fast as it can go down.
so, either meet with him soon to bring things back to earth (i don't know if it's possible / if you want to), or be prepared for the truth... it sounds very harsh, but remember that you cannot love a computer screen and it can't love you back, even if, somewhere across the globe a heart beats behind infinite lengths of circuits...
take care
Neurotic Nonsense
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Libra
