what do i do?

[disfly90]

hey everyone new to the site need advice,
so i love my girlfriend, im outi n the open about being a lesbian i just dont know what to do or how to tell my girl or how to be okay with the fact she wants to be open in public in like restraunts, its still hard for me is this normal?

[Kiid]

I think that you should do what you think is normal. OR you could take a risk and try and be out in public. People in the public usually take it well or they can just get over.

And welcome to GS <3

[Nick9]

Hi, welcome to GS.
Sure, it is normal and perfectly okay. Many straight people feel this way too. Do what you are comfortable to do.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

hey everyone new to the site need advice,
so i love my girlfriend, im outi n the open about being a lesbian i just dont know what to do or how to tell my girl or how to be okay with the fact she wants to be open in public in like restraunts, its still hard for me is this normal?

Many LGB are not that open about their sexuality. Unfortunately we still live in a world where being too open opens the doors for bashing, verbal, emotional and even physical.

So there is a good reason to keep it on the down-low in public.

My partner and I are 'known' at several regular places we go to. We have gone to these places, got a feeling for the staff and have slowly been more open. We are more closed about behaviors when we go to a strange new place.

The concerns are valid, thus you can say its normal.

hi and welcome to GS.

[Ashley]

I live in AZ,and its not a big deal here. YAY! For another girl!!!!!!!!!!

[pellaz]

you in N America but not knowing what city cant say.

there are situations here in Denver i would avoid but generally people dont care. Try not to get over your head and where safety is an issue.

[Rosie]

I think that you should just do what you're comfortable with. My girlfriend and I live in a very gay friendly city & we're completely open about our relationship as a result. It's typical for us to walk hand in hand, she often puts her arm around me when we're out, & we give eachother a quick peck if we're having a night out (nothing vulgar as we wouldn't want to see anyone else all over each other so surely no one wants to see us!). We haven't experienced any issues in our own city, but have had numerous problems when we've travelled (within the US). When that happens we get angry, but we do not let it determine our behavior because we feel that we have nothing to be ashamed of. That's just us though, if you're not comfortable or it's not safe for you to be open in public then don't do it.

[Rainbowmum]

Hi and welcome,
There is not much more that I can add, by all means don't force yourself to do something you are not comfortable.

Every one is different and so are our comfort levels.
Talk to her about it.

[Timsan45]

"Rainbowmum" . . . . first off, I'd like to thank you for your kind words about my poem, "Mankind;" I just posted another that I wrote, called "A Special Love" . . . . hope you like this one, as well. I wanted to comment on something I witnessed, that I thought was one of the most romantic things I've ever seen. A friend of mine is gay, and has a boyfriend several years younger; at a company picnic, a few years ago, his bubbly, young lover (shorter than him) stood on his tip-toes, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I was actually jealous, of the obvious love that they have for one another--as well as the fact that they don't care who knows it. I am a 66-year old, unhappily-married bisexual, who has been sleeping apart from my wife for eight years, now (her decision, due to opinion differences about our 23-year old, mildly-autistic son); I only wish that I had the nerve to end the charade, and "come out" of hiding--find the loving male that I deserve, and live a happy life like my friend does. After all, "Love knows no gender!" No one . . . . and I mean no one should be judged for who they are, and who and how they choose to love. Thanks for listening. All the best, Timsan45

[Nick9]

Timsan I know how you feel
If you decide to do it one day, come here. There are several who were in the same situation and could give you some advice.
But I understand that the longer you stay, the harder it gets to leave.