Getting Over Someone You Didn't Know?

[DarkDaisuke]

Ok this requires a bit of backtracking but basically a year ago,a friend was dating this guy. They'd known each other since childhood and were engaged. They were so excited/happy and well one day my close friend (We stopped talking and now shes talking to me again which I think has brought these feelings back to the surface) asked me if it was normal for a straight man to jack off to gay porn. Honestly it didn't and I told her. Maybe he was bicurious or something. Turned out he was full fledged gay long story short. Anyways, during this time, I got to know him (Online only though we planned multiple occassions to go see each him with me tagging along cause she was trying to set me up with his gay roommate lol) I fell for him. However the gay roommate Brandon swooped in and yeah. I confessed he liked me and all but he was with Brandon. I kinda went over the deep end and just annoyed the fuck out of the poor guy. He even tried to tell me off but I have to be told from that person specfically or it doesnt go through.

Anyways, he moved (Which I had known and killed me inside a bit and depressed me for months) to Florida and we talked but I removed him from my contacts eventually tired of never talking (His way of getting rid of me I guess) and yeah I thought I had moved on past him when it still hurts kinda nowhere near as bad as I felt that summer. My sister even told me that I would find another guy or someone better who was actually in distance of visiting but that hasn't happened lol. Anyways, how in the hell can I fully get over this? I'm tired of feeling this way (Been about a week) and Ive forgiven myself for how obessed I got as I figure that might be the right thing to do as I was "blindly" in "Love" or lust or whatever it was. I haven't even talked to the guy since January I think of last year.

Also to anyone who says get out and meet people or has that advice can't really do that as no car, no license. Live in a small city at best conservative and no out gays or place to really meet people. Technical school is teh only place really and Im not going summer semester so yeah.

Tldr; Went crazy over a guy I never met, only talked to online, forgave myself, feelings are back for him and I don't want them. Help!

[gilhooly]

Call him immediately. Guys from South Carolina have the most beautiful accents I have ever heard. My family, the Gilhoolys are a founding family of the IRA. I, too, have terrorist tendencies along with my pagan belief in love conquers all. At 66, I am still madly in love with a straight guy who died 15 years ago. I am waiting for the arrival of my secret girl friend when I was 8. I gave her a locket privately because I didn't want the guys I hung out with to know I had a GIRL as a best friend.

Screw every rule you have ever been told. Call and find out how you feel about him and follow your heart. I did. My family terrified me but I picked the best imaginary family any person ever saw. I have friends who have supported my whole life, ten times better than my family did.

When you get old, the only thing you will remember are the people you loved. It's nice if you're family is included but not necessary for a great love life, sexlife or lustlife. I can still remember certain orgasms as if they happened ten minutes ago. Wow. Some happened 56 years ago. You see a chance to try love, go for it. It may not work out which is normal but you may WIN.

I still feel like a marine from Parris Island. You like a guy, you must go AT the guy to find out.
Good luck.

[britishstudent]

Ok this requires a bit of backtracking but basically a year ago,a friend was dating this guy. They'd known each other since childhood and were engaged. They were so excited/happy and well one day my close friend (We stopped talking and now shes talking to me again which I think has brought these feelings back to the surface) asked me if it was normal for a straight man to jack off to gay porn. Honestly it didn't and I told her. Maybe he was bicurious or something. Turned out he was full fledged gay long story short. Anyways, during this time, I got to know him (Online only though we planned multiple occassions to go see each him with me tagging along cause she was trying to set me up with his gay roommate lol) I fell for him. However the gay roommate Brandon swooped in and yeah. I confessed he liked me and all but he was with Brandon. I kinda went over the deep end and just annoyed the fuck out of the poor guy. He even tried to tell me off but I have to be told from that person specfically or it doesnt go through.

Anyways, he moved (Which I had known and killed me inside a bit and depressed me for months) to Florida and we talked but I removed him from my contacts eventually tired of never talking (His way of getting rid of me I guess) and yeah I thought I had moved on past him when it still hurts kinda nowhere near as bad as I felt that summer. My sister even told me that I would find another guy or someone better who was actually in distance of visiting but that hasn't happened lol. Anyways, how in the hell can I fully get over this? I'm tired of feeling this way (Been about a week) and Ive forgiven myself for how obessed I got as I figure that might be the right thing to do as I was "blindly" in "Love" or lust or whatever it was. I haven't even talked to the guy since January I think of last year.

Also to anyone who says get out and meet people or has that advice can't really do that as no car, no license. Live in a small city at best conservative and no out gays or place to really meet people. Technical school is teh only place really and Im not going summer semester so yeah.

Tldr; Went crazy over a guy I never met, only talked to online, forgave myself, feelings are back for him and I don't want them. Help!

Wow, reading your post is like looking in a mirror. I have been in exactly the same situation.

Guy falls for me, I fall for him. We spend one evening together getting to know each other, making out. Then next day he is gone and we didn't exchange any contact details.

I remember never feeling so alone and angry at myself. I felt so apathetic, like nothing was worth caring about. I thought about him 24/7 and hurt inside so bad thinking of what 'could have been.' It became an obsession. I threw myself into exercising (in the sad and silly hope that I would see him again, despite the fact he was gone for good) and just spent so much time outdoors to try to 'get over it' but actually it made me worse as it gave me so much time to just think, although it did clear my head a bit.

I think time is the only cure - keeping busy doesn't work, nor does finding a short term replacement.

[Gizzie]

I agree. As ,inch as I like to kill time with a rebound, in the end, only time can cure.
I have had lingering crushes on a guy for over ten years until quite recently when all of a sudden I realized that I didn't think about him anymore.