Masc Vs. Fem

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I always thought the masculine/feminine thing going on in the gay community was the dumbest thing ever. I feel like a lot of men let that define them. No one ever says they're fem in their description, but when they're masc, they'll flaunt it to and fro and say they're looking for the same thing. It's disgusting and I wish a lot of gays would broaden their horizons. I could go on and on, but I'll just stop here. What do you guys think?

How is this better than saying its disgusting when a grown man acts like a swishy female? How is this better than others saying 'why can't the Nelly queens butch up and act like men?' ?

Better yet, since your a homosexual why don't you broaden your horizons and date women?

Masculinity is a defining point to masculine men. Ruff/Gruff, muscled, sports playing, grease monkey, etc is as part of them as some fluffy fairy lisping, swishing and saying Fab-U-lous all the time.

I'm in a relationship with a effeminate male.

Its not easy - I like to camp, hunt, play sports (when I used to be able to) and do lots of 'manly' things. He doesn't do those things - hated the few times we tried to do things I like. Now we camp by renting a cabin that has electricity and running water - lord forbid if he can't use his hair blower.

There is a lot of other things that make this relationship difficult. He loves his romance comedies that have absolutely nothing funny in them. He loves his tear jerkers - sits on the couch next to me crying. If I want to watch something I'm interested in he throws a hissy fit that its 'boring' watching cars explode, gunmen shooting, aliens attacking - etc.

Masculine men seeking other masculine men is not just about sex - its about sports, hunting, watching similar movies, working out in the gym together, and having short periods of bathroom time and not stumbling over foundation, hair gels, and lots of other crap.

[DarkDaisuke]

How is this better than saying its disgusting when a grown man acts like a swishy female? How is this better than others saying 'why can't the Nelly queens butch up and act like men?' ?

Better yet, since your a homosexual why don't you broaden your horizons and date women?

Masculinity is a defining point to masculine men. Ruff/Gruff, muscled, sports playing, grease monkey, etc is as part of them as some fluffy fairy lisping, swishing and saying Fab-U-lous all the time.

I'm in a relationship with a effeminate male.

Its not easy - I like to camp, hunt, play sports (when I used to be able to) and do lots of 'manly' things. He doesn't do those things - hated the few times we tried to do things I like. Now we camp by renting a cabin that has electricity and running water - lord forbid if he can't use his hair blower.

There is a lot of other things that make this relationship difficult. He loves his romance comedies that have absolutely nothing funny in them. He loves his tear jerkers - sits on the couch next to me crying. If I want to watch something I'm interested in he throws a hissy fit that its 'boring' watching cars explode, gunmen shooting, aliens attacking - etc.

Masculine men seeking other masculine men is not just about sex - its about sports, hunting, watching similar movies, working out in the gym together, and having short periods of bathroom time and not stumbling over foundation, hair gels, and lots of other crap.

I'm effeminate and yet I've been camping. I can't go hunting cause I can't stand to kill an animal. Only complaint about camping was too many damn mosquito and I slept with a rock under my back. Not fun. The way you make it sound is as if ALL effeminate men are like this. I don't even use a damn hairdryer. I'd probably go again since I did have fun. I'm as someone else said dry off and throw on some clothes type of guy and I'm not masculine in the slightest =_= Why should it even matter though? I mean in terms of dating you should just get to know the person but my god the "gay community" is as judgmental as our hetero counterparts. Yet when I tell guys I'm feminine or effeminate, they automatically assume I'm some sort of queen who yells for attention from the rooftops overdramatizes everything and that I don't enjoy stuff other than shopping and going out with the girls.

Anyways, I'm just tired of guys assuming I'm something when I say I"m this or that and yeah. Don't base a person off a freaking stereotype. Just because a guy's masculine doesn't mean he's into sports, camping, and hunting. He could be into anything and yet whomever decides they already know the man based on one thing he might put on his profile. Same goes for a guy who puts he's feminine/effeminate in his.

[Zet]

I'm not so sure what is really considered masculine or feminine behavior and I don't really care that much, Just be your self cause none will. Those are just old norms. I find some masculine traits just as feminine traits attractive and some just isn't.

[pellaz]

to the top

[myapple]

That whole "masculine vs feminine" argument has got to be one of the biggest loads of tripe I have ever heard as well. I am in complete agreement with you.

We all share masculine and feminine qualities, whether you're male or female, gay or straight. Yes, some people exhibit more of one quality than another...but in the end, if you truly like them...who gives a rat's ass?

Exactly! People forget that we have masculine and feminine energy. We just go along with what society says is masculine and what is feminine.

[myapple]

How is this better than saying its disgusting when a grown man acts like a swishy female? How is this better than others saying 'why can't the Nelly queens butch up and act like men?' ?

Better yet, since your a homosexual why don't you broaden your horizons and date women?

Masculinity is a defining point to masculine men. Ruff/Gruff, muscled, sports playing, grease monkey, etc is as part of them as some fluffy fairy lisping, swishing and saying Fab-U-lous all the time.

I'm in a relationship with a effeminate male.

Its not easy - I like to camp, hunt, play sports (when I used to be able to) and do lots of 'manly' things. He doesn't do those things - hated the few times we tried to do things I like. Now we camp by renting a cabin that has electricity and running water - lord forbid if he can't use his hair blower.

There is a lot of other things that make this relationship difficult. He loves his romance comedies that have absolutely nothing funny in them. He loves his tear jerkers - sits on the couch next to me crying. If I want to watch something I'm interested in he throws a hissy fit that its 'boring' watching cars explode, gunmen shooting, aliens attacking - etc.

Masculine men seeking other masculine men is not just about sex - its about sports, hunting, watching similar movies, working out in the gym together, and having short periods of bathroom time and not stumbling over foundation, hair gels, and lots of other crap.

How does any of that define being a man though? Just because a man swishes, is interested in fashion, wears pink all the time, says FAAABULOUS DARLING does not make him any less of a man. And actually I do date women. We are all half man and half woman. All of our lives, we've been told what is masculine and if you did anything out of the ordinary, you were looked at differently. If you were raised to believe something, it's probably hard to change your beliefs. Masculine seeking masculine is another man seeking for something he's comfortable with. If you're comfortable with your sexuality and who you are, then another man swinging a purse and swishing should not bother you at all.

[Beaux]

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]Some people carry the Masculine/Feminine thing over the top. I say: be who you are and your specialness will shine through! My husband is something of a Man's-Man; he served as a Marine for 8 years and continues to serve as anactive-duty military personal in his position with the Department of Defense, but none of it is a facade--he is simply honest about who he is and his personality isn't contrived. Of the two of us, I am admittedly the more feminine. However, I am simply true to myself. I don't attempt to be feminine but neither do I put a great deal of effort to come across as butch.

I DO carry a messenger bad (my "purse" lol) because I find it convenient for carrying my iPad; my husband carries one for his iPad as well. The thing is, I have had people try to make fun of me for carrying a "purse", while no one has EVER said anything to my husband for carrying his. Our "purses" are exactly alike, but we aren't. I am tall and willowy, my husband is tall and muscle-bound. Apparently, it's ok to carry a purse if your a physically imposing person! [/SIZE][/COLOR]

[LateBloomer]

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]Some people carry the Masculine/Feminine thing over the top. I say: be who you are and your specialness will shine through! My husband is something of a Man's-Man; he served as a Marine for 8 years and continues to serve as anactive-duty military personal in his position with the Department of Defense, but none of it is a facade--he is simply honest about who he is and his personality isn't contrived. Of the two of us, I am admittedly the more feminine. However, I am simply true to myself. I don't attempt to be feminine but neither do I put a great deal of effort to come across as butch.

I DO carry a messenger bad (my "purse" lol) because I find it convenient for carrying my iPad; my husband carries one for his iPad as well. The thing is, I have had people try to make fun of me for carrying a "purse", while no one has EVER said anything to my husband for carrying his. Our "purses" are exactly alike, but we aren't. I am tall and willowy, my husband is tall and muscle-bound. Apparently, it's ok to carry a purse if your a physically imposing person! [/SIZE][/COLOR]

I carry a backpack.

[Maxx]

Allright, time for me to voice my opinion here, although I have a feeling not many people are going to like it lol. I have to say the whole masculine vs feminine subject is probably the one I've had the most debates on with people in my life since I came out. I am one of the who consider myself as masculine (not over the top, but lets just say noone saw it coming when I came out) and am looking for the same, as I am not attracted to nor do I associate with feminine guys. That being said, I still consider myself open minded, I don't judge a guy on a stereotype, and would never turn my back on a guy just because he is more effeminate. Friends are cool but I could just never picture myself with a guy who is not like me, just a personal preference. When I walk in town with my boyfriend, I don't want people to be able to point at us and say we're together, for no other reason than for the fact that its none of their business. If I feel like showing love to my boyfriend, I'll do it and then they can know, but I don't like to give people a chance to judge me before they know me, and I'm just not like that anyway.

All that being said, I do not have a single problem with feminine guys, they have the right to be themselves just like I do. However, to me the whole masculine/feminine thing is very important and definitely is a deciding factor when it comes to choosing a partner. (Which, luckily, I did already and he is a masculine dude just like I am and we're happy woot!)

[Terradi]

As a lesbian, I'm constantly asked whether I'm the "man" or the "woman" since I don't look either feminine nor "butch". I wear my hair long, have well-taken care of, pretty skin, and wear jewelry. I also refuse to wear skirts/dresses and wear men's clothing. A lot of women tell me I send them mixed signals. I think this is very silly. There should not be a "man" or "woman" in a gay or lesbian relationship. Just two people who love each other. I wouldn't want anyone to look at me and my girlfriend and say "oh, she's the butch one and the other must be the lipstick lesbian!" that would be very offensive. I'm GLAD they can't tell with me. My own mother "suspected" I was a lesbian thanks to the way I dress, but wasn't sure because of my love of jewels and long hair (she wasn't shocked when I came out to her).