a good reason to come out

[run4good89]

I use to work with this girl (who is lesbian); she got a new job. First female crush I had and still have a crush on her. She mentioned that she doesn’t get involved with straight or bi sexuals because that only leads to hurt feelings. This was 2 years, I still have the same feelings for her. She is the only girl that ever made me like her physically and mentally. Is she a reason to come out ? I feel like it would be for the wrong reasons if it’s only for this one girl and yet, she has my heart pounding…p.s. I never been in a relationship before .

[Nick9]

Hi, welcome to the forum,

telling one person doesn't necessarily mean you need to come out to the whole world. Before you do it though, you should know how good the girl is with keeping secret. She can still have friends at your work.
I don't think it is the wrong reason. But you should know if she is in a relationship right now.

If you want to share the news with her, do it If you want to have a relationship with her, do some research. She may be not available; consider how much the possible rejection can hurt you.

Good luck

[dfiant]

G Day and welcome to Gayspeak.

I can understand 100% where your lesbian friend is coming from. I assure you it is nothing personal, the choice has been made on past bad experiences.

As for being curious and coming out...DON'T...until you know what your sexuality is and you are comfortable.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Welcome to the board.

Come out as what? "Single Curious Woman" or "Single Lesbian"?

How it worked for me was that I met that one special person who I wanted to be with. I came to understand that what I was was a homosexual - and that lead to about 6 months of internal struggle for me as I came to grips with this new 'reality' of who I was and how I identified myself.

Part of the process of 'accepting' who I was I needed to tell folk, like my parents, friends, etc.

For me yes, the love of a person was worth 'coming out'.

I'm not saying that this is what you need to do. I am not you and I can not possibly understand what it is you need in order to be happy with life.

[East]

Hi! Welcome!

I have to ask you one thing...you list your orientation as curious...so my question is...are you actually gay or maybe bi or even straight curious?

The reason I ask..this girl says she does not want to get involved with anyone who is straight or bi so it is a question you need to ask yourself because if you really like her and yourself you want to be honest with both of you...eh?

[pellaz]

you need to come out to your self who you are. Try not to put too many labels on it but you need to figure it out enough so you can get in to a relationship with some personal limits and be able to talk about your feelings to your partner.

some ladies are just fine with casual sex and you may need to date a few girls? After 2years and you have not gotten anywhere with this person i would say she is not ok with dating a questioning lady. If this is the case accept it and move on.

My current partner knew i was a gay man in a straight marriage when we started dating. It caused more than expected friction and we broke up while I went through a divorce. I came out 100% after the divorce and when we got back together. The issue here is i knew inside my self i was gay. You need to get to that point. Dont expect some else to do it for you.

love conquers all. Good luck. It dosnt mean everyone wants to go through the pain.
contact her or find a lady who can be your friend. In the mean time get familiar with the gay culture and see if its what you want in your life.

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and welcome.
I understand completely where your friend is coming from.
No one wants to feel like a science experiment .

As for you coming out , that is a very personal issue and should be made by you , when you are comfortable with your sexuality , not for another person.
Good luck with this.