Anal sex can be scary if it's your first time, but it doesn't have to be painful. Yes I've read about people who have tried it and just, do not like it, but y'all should try everything at least once, if not twice! Let's first go over some rules that would make the situation more pleasurable for you:
1. Mood - you gotta be in the mood. if you're already submissive, this will be easy. but if you're like me, and usually not in the mood, try not jacking off or edging for a few days.
2. Cleanliness - this is a must: buy yourself a handheld enema. you can buy one for your pharmacy near the laxative section. follow the directions on the box but don't over do it, or you can end up like a scene from Another Gay Movie. i douche every time my bf wants to top me.
3. Lube - !!! have to have it. if you're just using spit, you're going to have a bad time. lube when you use fingers, lube up when you are using a dildo, and lube up both the bottom and top when you're ready for penetration.
4. Finger/Tongue/Dildo Action - if you're fingering, use lube and try massaging the prostate. dildos should always start small and go big, pornstars get paid to take huge things in their butt, you don't. so take it easy, for all of us. and please, feel free to eat out if you're hungry.
5. Pace and Position - slow and steady wins the race. however big or small, your tight hole will relax, i promise. and i've always found on the stomach works best at first... then on my back with legs up was second and all fours was 3rd... (jus sayin)
6. Optional is Poppers - you don't have to use them, but let's just say sex can feel 10x better if you do. this puppies help you relax like you had no idea.
the more you clean yourself out, the better you will know your body. the more you practice, the better it will feel.
and unless you in a trusting, committed, monogamous relationship, there is no reason good enough not to use a condom.
am i missing something guys?
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ATXtoLA Wrote:...
the more you clean yourself out, the better you will know your body. the more you practice, the better it will feel.
and unless you in a trusting, committed, monogamous relationship, there is no reason good enough not to use a condom On the committed Monogamous thing; its an imperfect world. Let you partner know its priority to start using a condom with you till he has a few negative tests. How ever you deal with it you have to be thankful he let you know. Its a difficult topic, so dont cheat.
ATXtoLA Wrote:... the more you clean yourself out, the better you will know your body. the more you practice, the better it will feel With or with out the enema your partner is going to come out fairly clean. Confidence is a big issue tho. If your body has been loving you of late introducing this might have un predictable results.
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I would also recommend anyone who doesn't have the means to afford or get an enema to use my tactic: fingers and warm water. It pretty much does the exact same job. I would also recommend (and grossly at this) not eating for a few hours beforehand. It makes the process much more simple (but then again, sex isn't really a clean thing in the first place, haha.)
Great tips, ATXtoLA!
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ATXtoLA Wrote:6. Optional is Poppers - you don't have to use them, but let's just say sex can feel 10x better if you do. this puppies help you relax like you had no idea.
I admit it feels strange to see this on your list. A lot of things is "optional" so why including just this one?
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what ever gets you over the learning curve. Do you have the personal strength to drop it after you develop the confidence? In other words your almost better off skipping the usage. You will see others using it so get used to seeing it about.
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Great information for the Castro Boys. Bad data for the South of Market guys - especially those in Dore Alley at 2:30 AM...
If you have to struggle to get into the mood, needing to edge for a few days then you are not really an anal bottom.
Everything you have described (aside from poppers, more on this below) Is straight vanilla anal sex.
There is a lot of gay men who like it rough, raw, raunchy. There are guys who take fists, arms, traffic cones, small cars and even take on Horses and other well endowed creatures.
Your 'list' works for you and SOME gay males, it doesn't work for all of them. It may be a majority of gay males (bottoms) who don't do enemas, are aiming for a major ass stretching, who don't want it lite and sweet but actually want it hard and rough - starting off with having the top slam it all the way home right from the start or being gang banged in the style of rape.
Poppers: Why stop there? There is a plethora of chemicals out there you should also recommend if you are going to push poppers.
Meth mixed with Viagra = Marathon Sex. 4, 6, 8 hours of non stop ass fucking - trust me when you are tweaking hard on meth the last thing you think about is wearing a condom or if that lube hasn't evaporated or not 2-3 hours ago.
Condoms - always and forever optional. You don't need a condom to have sex.
We wear condoms to prevent the punishments of having sex - STD's. There are many men out there who don't care if they get the HIV or some other STD.
If you need all of these things in your list, fine go for it.
Your list is not being the 'best bottom' for the whole crowd. In fact there are those who think this is the list to become the worst bottom ever.
Its called perspective.
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Bowyn, always love your point of view!
My list of being a better bottom would be 4256 items long because there are probably that many variables in the equation. Oh, and as far as drugs to take to make you a better bottom, you forgot weed, coke, heroin, alcohol, the aforementioned meth, exstacy, and any number of combinations of prescription drugs to make the experience "better". Maybe Rohypnol or Ketamine so you don't even remember if you were a good bottom or not.
I'm just saying that there are so many different guys in the world and so many combinations that can produce success or failure that it seems ridiculous to compile a list.
ATX, you have some great suggestions (apart from my disagreement with pushing poppers or anything else that you might have noticed, but that's just my rant) and I know you are trying to help out. Thanks for the suggestions.
My suggestions: Relax, go SLOWLY, LOTS of lube and most of all, it's not for everyone. If you don't enjoy it after trying a couple of times, don't do it!
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How to be the best bottom you can be?
easy...Be the best top you can be and pay attention!  :biggrin: one is the yin and the other is the yang...two sides of the same coin.
When the submissive submits then he becomes the dominant party and the dominant man becomes submissive to the desires of the "host".....it is a beautiful thing really and at the core of human nature.
If you are able to master this 75% of the things that "bother you" will disappear immediately and your mind will once again belong to you. 
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Meth mixed with Viagra = Marathon Sex. 4, 6, 8 hours of non stop ass fucking - trust me when you are tweaking hard on meth the last thing you think about is wearing a condom or if that lube hasn't evaporated or not 2-3
I think I nearly wet myself reading this lol, oh and the traffic cones Jesus I don't think I'm gonna be able to look at one the same way again! Not in a sexual way though lol
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Nick9 Wrote:I admit it feels strange to see this on your list. A lot of things is "optional" so why including just this one?
i would agree that most everything is optional. you don't have to use lube, you don't have to use an enema (my partner doesn't use one, but i do.) you don't have use fingers, you don't have to do drugs to have the best sex possible... i included it b/c i use poppers frequently when we have sex
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