Finally time to get over him...

[zeon]

Hello all,
Tonight i decided to go out into town and walked into a pub where my ex and his new boyfriend was. I walked over and said Hello and had a nice conversation with my ex boyfriends new boyfriend about alsorts and we got on ok.. I didnt feel jelous and i was to be honest pleased to know that his making my ex really happy.. I thought about when i was 18 and my ex boyfriend mark from inverness reduced me to rubble with self harm... I thought of something i was told by a wise man

"Do you love him enough to let him go?"

Tonight my answer is Yes.. I cannot spent my days pining for my love of six n Half years... We had our laughs we had our cries we had our moment and its one i appreciate... I still feel weak on the inside but my eating is slowly getting better as i lost my appitite and figured im not going back into depression so forced myself to eat something and maintain energy... I may have driven to work today and sung to the radio and had a good old sing song as i do when driving to work which quickly turned to an emotional wreck when Jason Mraz " I wont give up" played on the radio as i was the only driver sitting in a que crying me eyes out but hey i guess it happens when you least expect it...

Admittedly i do miss my ex and will always have a place in my heart for him like everyone who i have ever loved but I have to understand we had our time and his new boyfriend is making him happy... If i dont find another relationship then i dont mind... Men come and go in life whereas a dog stays forever...

Based on this motto why get a man if i can get something better than any man?? Something i can cuddle upto in bed and will actually give me a kiss goodnight and a wagg of acknowledgement of affection... A animal that will wake you in the morning with no fuss just a good morning kiss... All men do is bloody moan eventually lol and having ADHD as an adult can drive any guy nuts eventually...

I think within time as i get stronger inside ill cope better i mean i dont feel sad inside about anything tonight to be honest i enjoyed mingling with my ex and his new boyfriend and I enjoyed spending time in a different bar on my own knowing im leaving him with a guy whos going to be all over him later on.... But hey thats life to be honest and with life we have to accept our path of destiny and just move forwards not backwards.. I mean i could chase my ex round and round and round begging and pleading for him to come back to me but why do that.... Whats that achieve??? To be truthful... Nothing because it is me who has lost my freedom and Do i really want a guy who cant leave drink alone for five minutes? No not anymore... I did do something crafty tonight not to score brownie points or anything but as some know me and Mr K speak on the phone a lot as i talk for britian and i dropped in conversation to my ex that basically... His going to have to look after the dogs one weekend as i am saving up to go newcastle for a weekend to get away for the first time in nearly ten years!!!!!!!!

Thisd way he cant sp[eak his mind as his boyfriend is there and he has to be told stubbornly with or without an audience... I am free now single now and I am going to go on MY road trips in the UK on MY own and get the old Zeon back which will happen over time and see where life takes me... I think i should save up and explore various parts of the UK first and maybe take sometime 2 weeks off work to go travelling around the UK working my way slowly up east coast to scotland then across the north of scotland and down otherside of UK popping via wales devon and cornwall before venturing back home again...

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon x

[mrk2010]

Zeon you are the kindest and sweetest guy I know, I hope you are ok :-) *hugs* You taught me to be stronger in myself and look at me now everything worked out for the better :-) Also mr you are perfectly welcome to visit, we will sort something out and let you have a break :-) Was he ok with you telling him you were gonna visit and say hi? Anyways I think i'll phone you tomorrow :-) have a proper chat. and no my mum wont be going "Hey" alot lol

I don't think I can give you a cuddle and a kiss in the morning but I can give you a massive hug mate. x

[Rainbowmum]

Aunty you are such an inspiration ,you are also stronger than you know.
You will get through this and you never know what is around the corner.

I know it hurts to see him happy with someone else ,it's just the honeymoon phase.

You my friend deserve the best of everything, you did not fail him , he did that to himself the moment his substances mattered more to him than the relationship he was in.
You are the sweetest most kind person I know, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a life partner.