Firguring out my sexualiTy

[OceanBlooms]

Hi,

so I have been off-and-on dealing with this for the last two years. I'm 20, and I consider myself straight.
When I was around 17, I got kind curious and started looking at pics online. Eventually, I had a sexual encounter with someone I met online, and I've done it two times since. I haven't really had much of an urge to since the last time though, which was about 9 or 10 months ago.
The reason why I question it, is that I sometimes have trouble getting it up with girls. I have trouble believing that its ED considering that I'm 20, but the more I read online about it, the more I think that it's just performance anxiety.
I have trouble believing that I'm gay though, for one pretty big reason. I'm not attracted to men. I've never had a crush on a guy or 'liked' a guy, ever. It's never even really gone beyond me being able to tell that a guy is attractive or not. I do like the penis though, and I did enjoy being a bottom in anal sex. I do feel like it's pretty important to mention that I enjoy sex with women too, I just keep having this erection problem. But then again, I haven't really had that much sex with men, and I very well could get it with them, too.

So where I sit right now is that I'm not gay. I think that maybe I just like the idea of gay sex because it's exciting and taboo in my world. I've thought long and hard on whether or not I'm just trying to convince myself of that or not, and I think that it actually is true.

But I would really appreciate input from you guys.
Thanks.

[pellaz]

first off welcome to gayspeak

looks like like both to me. You can get your self off so being gay is not just about the sex, its about who you an have a relationship with.

[Rainbowmum]

First let me say welcome .

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to both, It's 100% natural.
What is not natural is forcing your self to one or the other.
You are Bisexual , enjoy it , do not over think it.

[Jayd]

It's frequently observed that straight men like to be bottomed because of the way the stimulus rubs against the prostate. This, does not mean you're gay. I've been having performance anxiety lately as well. I prefer bottoming because this way, I can still get a sexual response. The reason I have performance anxiety is because A, I have an overactive mind, and B I watch too much porn and have become accustomed to masturbation as a way to achieve orgasm as opposed to actually having a sexual encounter. Hope this helps. No shame in being bisexual either if this turns out to be the case. You never know, a guy might someday sweep you off your feet.

[dfiant]

Hi,

so I have been off-and-on dealing with this for the last two years. I'm 20, and I consider myself straight.

Try considering yourself as human and imperfect so you don't keep putting square pegs in round holes.

Labels are for clothes...you are a sexual being.

[BiJosh]

I'm in a similar situation. I am 19 and am just now discovering my sexuality. I am definitely attracted to girls sexually and emotionally. I've also been noticing more and more that I am attracted to guys too. Sometimes I will be with my friends and find myself thinking about how attracted to them I am and that I want to be more than friends. I've only been in relationships with girls though because I still haven't come out with this yet and it is a lot easier to find straight girls than gay or bi guys.

[dfiant]

it is a lot easier to find straight girls than gay or bi guys.

Oh heck, take a str8 mate out and get him sloshed and he will be putty in your hands...LOL.

Just kidding of course


or AM I?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I believe that the majority of humans are bi-sexual by nature. Meaning that they can have sex with any gender and actually feel pleasure from the experience. Perhaps higher that 90% of the species.

Yes there are those who are strictly, 100% straight and those who are strictly 100% gay - meaning they are unable to have sex with someone of the other gender opposite of their sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation (Gay, Straight, Bi) is more than just who you have sex with. Sex is but one tool in an arsenal of tools we have as social creatures, it is also but one tool on how we form relationships.

If you have no interest in men beyond a shag, then most likely you are straight and should keep that label. If there are other feelings involved (closeness, intimacy beyond sex, etc) then consider yourself bisexual.

Ultimately there is a choice - you can choose the label you wear.