Confusing me

[aethe]

Ok, I'm a closet gay. I'm an 19 year old Chinese Boy living in Hurstville in Australia. I have several problems that I just want to get off my chest. I don't mind being gay, but sometimes it's just really depressing seeing how I'm the only person I know that is gay. I just don't fit in with other people. Just wondering are there some place like you know a club where I can go to fit in.

I know it seems pathetic and lame, but being single is kinda depressing. I watch my other friends one by one getting a relationship, whereas I'm still single and haven't dated once. My friends often urges me to find a girlfriend, but I always end up saying that I'm not ready for one (when the real reason is because I'm gay). I tried to drop hints to people that I'm gay, but it didn't work. They think I'm a bit feminine sometimes, but not gay. Only girls confess to me, no guys... Kinda getting worried that I'm going to be single and alone forever. I mean, I'm shy, and throughout my primary - high school, i was often alone and bullied by others. It got better in Seniour High where I got a boost in confidence, but now that I'm in Uni, it seems like I'm being alone again. I see my relationship life now and I'm no where near in finding a partner . I brush it off, but when I see happy couples, watch movies where character end up together, or even certain events like "Valentines Day", it aches me.

The other problem I have is whether circumstances in Yaoi really exist? If you guys aren't familliar with it, Yaoi is like jap comic where it features male x male love. I enjoy reading them (Only those that doesn't make the male look or act like a girl). Most of them have this "perfect man", but... do they exist anymore? Do true love even exist? I use to believe in it, but it's like each day, I believe less and less.

Anyway, that's most of the problem, just really confused and sad a bit.

[jamiebfd]

hi...if telling your friends isnt a problem then you should get that out in the open. You must want to if you have been dropping hints etc so go for it and just tell them.

As for finding a partner/ date, Just google the area you live in and see if theres any gay clubs, dating sites aimed in your area. Try find some gay support groups or something similar. They are good places to get to know people and possibly connect.

Good luck :+) hope this helps

[monk]

Most of them have this "perfect man", but... do they exist anymore?

They never did - the perfect human being doesn't exist.

Do true love even exist? I use to believe in it, but it's like each day, I believe less and less.

Yes, it exists. Give it time - you'll know it when you find it.

[dfiant]

G Day Aethe from Hurstville I grew up about 15 minutes south of you, Engadine and lived in Engadine and Cronulla for 30 years. and even spent a few years working in Hursville and Rockdale. You would have been about 8 years old when I left Sydney to live on the Gold Coast.

The reason I left the Sutherland Shire was mainly due to the oppresive nature of the area, it's difficult to be a gay man in the shire. I had and still have some awesome friends living in the shire, but overall I never felt comfortable in The Shire...Australia's Bible Belt.

It was difficult, but not impossible. You would have to gravitated more towards the City for the gay goodness of gay bars and night clubs. I believe there are socials groups around the Cronulla area, or at least there was when I used to live there.

I don't think Hurstville and surrounds have changed much since I was there, so I can understand where you are coming from, not the most comfortable region for a young gay man, but it is possible to make your mark on the world in Hurstville

[aethe]

Well I like HUrstville, it's a quiet peaceful area. I'm not really those clubbing type of people, so yeah... anywayz, thanks for all your post.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Oh yes my young friend true love does indeed exist I met my lover on this very site two years ago and we are very very much in love .
As to coming out if you have a true friend you may come out to him or her they may know another gay person you could meet.
you will never know until you try .

[ardus]

Being gay is a hard life in current society.
Your options are much more limited than straight people's and you are going to be unaccepted socially in most places.
But, you should be who you are. Even though it is hard you should embrace your own life and do what you need to do to be who you are.
Some people say coming out is the way to go, some people don't, you have to make that choice based on your own circumstances.
This community here is a GREAT place to be able to talk, and to air your problems.
I hope you figure things out.
Richard