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Transition is a bit unnerving
#11
dfiant Wrote:I don't think either one of us were under the impression that you are about to go out and sleep with as many as you can. I was actually under the impression that if you found the right person you think you would have trouble performing, the sexual abuse, if it did happen and is a repressed memory, which is is not unheard of, it may just been an isssue that you need to over come one way or another.

Patience has been my number one virtue, but its becoming exhosting.
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#12
I think I will take your advice and wait dfiant. Thanks for your patience, and your guidence.I think all I really need is someone to talk to with sex off of the table
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#13
hank Wrote:I think I will take your advice and wait dfiant. Thanks for your patience, and your guidence.I think all I really need is someone to talk to with sex off of the table

You are more than welcome.

I want to touch on the possibility that you have a repressed memory of being sexually abused. If this concerns you it propbably wouldn't hurt to seek some counselling, because while ever the memories are repressed you cannot deal with them, and not dealing with those issues is kinda like your mind being constipated and affecting all other aspects of your life.

You have nothing to loose from seeking counselling, perhaps they have a nearby clinic for GBLT or a clinic that deals with sexual abuse issues free or with low fees if money is an issue. Honestly I don't think it would hurt just to have a chat, may turn out you have no repressed issues so you can stop worrying, may turn out you do have repressed issues and counselling will give you the tools to deal with them.

There is definately something that is preventing you from moving on, so don't be ashamed,a sking for help is nothing to be ashamed of, it is the measure of a man that can ask for help ;-)
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#14
dfiant Wrote:You are more than welcome.

I want to touch on the possibility that you have a repressed memory of being sexually abused. If this concerns you it propbably wouldn't hurt to seek some counselling, because while ever the memories are repressed you cannot deal with them, and not dealing with those issues is kinda like your mind being constipated and affecting all other aspects of your life.

You have nothing to loose from seeking counselling, perhaps they have a nearby clinic for GBLT or a clinic that deals with sexual abuse issues free or with low fees if money is an issue. Honestly I don't think it would hurt just to have a chat, may turn out you have no repressed issues so you can stop worrying, may turn out you do have repressed issues and counselling will give you the tools to deal with them.

There is definately something that is preventing you from moving on, so don't be ashamed,a sking for help is nothing to be ashamed of, it is the measure of a man that can ask for help ;-)
Thanks again, I saw a therapist today about it, the only reason I know about it is because of my brother, he told my parents, he also had all of the symptoms which I did not of a repressed memory, dr. said he was projecting it onto me, much like a child could repress a memory, that Same child could sub in another person for themselves, he remembers it that way. His mind couldn't handle it. Some indecent things happened that I do remember, but it was not serious, just inappropriate.
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#15
I hope that you are relieved of sorts.

Sounds like a real mess and I hope that you brother is or will be ok.
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#16
dfiant Wrote:I hope that you are relieved of sorts.

Sounds like a real mess and I hope that you brother is or will be ok.
I don't see him seeking help on his own accord. I almost wish it was me, he had some issues, he still engages in self destructive behavior, he eats a lot, but if he thinks it happened to me, he will not accept it, I worry more because victims are normally targeted by more predators I wish I could help him but I think he would just push me away, he was full of venom when eh explained it.

I am relieved, but troubled by my inability to have seen all of the signs.
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#17
People can't be helped until they start to help themselves, so your hands are tied in that respect.

And as far as not seeing the signs, not always easy to spot from the inside, especially if you are in the same environment.

So I wouldn't beat yourself up too much Wink
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#18
Thanks friend.

I am sorting through all my issues, I just need to remember to listen to myself, and do what is right for me
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