The right time and school

[yaoifan]

So I was thinking of coming out at family dinner when just before I spoke my dad said one of the most homophobic jokes I've ever heard (don't ask) so I was wandering when would be the right time. It wasn't a big gathering just mum dad and me. I'm still in school and the only problem is my parents would change my school( I go to an all boys school) and I don't wanna change

[BeautifulBlue]

So I was thinking of coming out at family dinner when just before I spoke my dad said one of the most homophobic jokes I've ever heard (don't ask) so I was wandering when would be the right time. It wasn't a big gathering just mum dad and me. I'm still in school and the only problem is my parents would change my school( I go to an all boys school) and I don't wanna change

I try to recommend young men (and women) to come out to their families after they've turned eighteen, are out of school and have some sort of reliable independence. You don't want any negative reactions to turn into a situation where you could potentially be harmed or homeless, and given your dad said a homophobic joke, that's either a big red flag or him just being stupid.

[Blue]

You have to decide if coming out is worth changing schools and, any other possible ramification right now or not. No one can tell you what to do. All we can do is be here and be supportive of whatever decision you make.

That said, were I in your place today, I'd come out and take the change of schools if that was the most dire consequence. If I expected worse, I'd have to think long and hard about coming out now, or waiting until I was 18 and, had a place of my own at least lined up.

[pellaz]

every culture is different and plus not a lot of information all good tho.

you havnt stated your reasons for wanting to come out. I could assume it is to shock your parents? go for it but you guys have been living with each other for 16 years and they should already know if your gay.

I dont understand how parents can live with their child, in your case 16 years, an not accept their child. so along those lines your dad could be gay himself. Managed to raise a family in denial. Your parents are just fragile people. Your parents have not taken an interest in you and your coming out will not give you more emotional support from them. just ideas.

16 year olds dis like change, they already have a lot going on in their lives. I dont detect you are dating anyone at your current school. If you change school you could find someone fun.

try talking to your mother first. The best place i find is in the car with your mother. At least you will have the option to have the complete conversation. Wives and husbands dont keep secrets well.

if you go to college this might be a good time to out your self. Always the fear while in college the rents will with hold the tuition money if they find out your gay.

[myapple]

Umm I'm siding with BeautifulBlue on this one. I would definitely wait until I have something of my own to fall back on before coming out just incase things get crazy.

[dfiant]

yaoifan, there are a lot of things to consider if it is the right time.

First of all, what is going to change by coming out? You'll more then likely get moved from the school that you enjoy going to. That to me would indicate that it is the wrong time for you to come out.

Coming out should be a relatively painless experience, if you have any concerns, then it isn't the right time.

What are you hoping to achieve by coming out?

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie , please take your time with this , there is no rush.
You will still be gay in a few years.

Right now you are totally reliant on your family.
Wait , until you are in a safe place and can support yourself.

[monk]

Why would they change your school? :confused:

[dfiant]

Why would they change your school? :confused:

Because it is an all boys school

And yes, people still think like that.

[monk]

^ Good grief!