We are considering Expatriating

[Rainbowmum]

I don't blame you one little bit , the prospect of what happens if he get in is terrifying.
Do what you need to do for both of you.

[matty7]

to your original question about moving (not too bothered with the political stuff) if your happy you can both create a loving family home to the standard or above that you have right now in the states then go for it - leaving your families will be hard but with skype etc then still been in face to face contact everyday is easy which will make the tranistion less painful at the beggining.If you both decide its on then i for one will be happy for you, good luck on nay decision u make

[monk]

Good luck in whatever you decide, but the UK is no utopia, believe me.

[bryandurel]

I have a friend in UAE and he says it's literally like a gay utopia. I might go there fora vacation one day though I can't imagine being anything other than American.

[bryandurel]

Did I ever tell you, you're like the best!

Should you? I don't know.

You and I are both in our 40's and have seen a lot of minor and major changes in the USA over those decades.

From where I sit in central California (Its conservative out there, its only liberal on the coast), things are better.

As a 'kid' in my 20's I recall police allowing crimes to take place, or act like you deserved it when your BF beat the crap out of you. Today a gay man beats up on another and its taken very seriously. Today if a gang of thugs takes a baseball bat to a gay man they face additional charges and penalties (Hate Crime Laws). Back in our 20's the police were as likely to give you a few swift kicks as you laid there while patting the backs of the bashers for doing society a 'favor'.

As kids none of the states accepted or tolerated the idea of domestic partnerships let alone the idea of marriage. Today we have domestic partnerships in a few states, And a few states even allow gays to marry!

Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, New York, Washington (state and DC), Connecticut and even in the middle of Right-wing America, Iowa.:o

Here in the USA it was George W Bush (The last republican president) who dismantled the last sodomy laws in the USA.

When we were children, homosexuality was considered a mental illness. Yeah sure we may not have witnessed it, but men were being hauled off to the insane asylum and 'treated' for the 'illness' with such wonders of 20th century medicine as electroshock therapy (nothing a few thousand volts applied to the brain can't fix). Go into a psychiatrists office today and demand to be 'cured' f being a homosexual and s/he will work very hard to get you to accept that you are gay and even tell you that its 'normal' to be gay.

No things are not great, Its not like you or I can walk down the street hand in hand with our partners, but we can walk down the street with our partners and even call them 'dear or sweetie' without fear of government reprisal.

This isn't like the Middle East were they arrest you and even kill you (by authority of the government) for being gay. Its not like this is Africa where they are currently turning up the heat and passing new anti-gay laws on a nationwide level.

Here in the states any laws being passed are pretty much opening up new rights for LGBT. Sure the "Traditional Marriage" Defense may have won a few 'anti gay marriage' amendments, but those will be turned down in time and more and more states are just concluding that its far easier to give us what we want.

Blacks didn't win equality by packing it in and moving back to Africa. Women didn't win the vote by running off to Canada. They stood their ground, made a huge fuss and fought tooth and nail.

Recently Don't Ask Don't tell was tossed out. Today most people think that Clinton was a terrible president for having established DADT. A few of us still recall clearly that the polices before DADT were far harder on homosexuals int hat it was criminal to not answer yes when you were asked by the Brass if you were we gay.

DADT was a step in the right direction. In its time it was perhaps a huge step in that the Government made a real stance in a positive direction of acceptance. Yes it was a mere step, Marriage in Iowa is a mere step, Having the AMA view homosexuality is a mere step. Each by themselves appear minor, small, almost a loss instead of a win. Put them all together and we can see that we have walked halfway to the moon in the right direction.

We are getting there. You and I may very well both live to see the day when the Federal Government throws out the DOMA and just recognizes same sex marriage.

We definitely won't see it if all of the LGBT just give up and run away.

[princealbertofb]

You also have to remember, at most he can only be there 8 years. There is only so much damage you can do in 8 years.

And Hitler was in there for how long before he started on the Jews and the gays???
1934 to 1939 that's only 5 years and then 6 years of total destruction.

[princealbertofb]

I have a friend in UAE and he says it's literally like a gay utopia. I might go there fora vacation one day though I can't imagine being anything other than American.

Are you sure about this affirmation???
You can still read this if it's any help... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights...b_Emirates
Some countries are well known to have very strict legislation but very poor enforcement thereof... so maybe that's what you're talking about. Another page seemed to say there was a thriving UNDERGROUND gay scene, but it's underground... which means more hiding, and more lying. Depends what you are looking for.

[Blue]

No place is going to be perfect for us, well unless you want to join a gay commune and ignore the rest of the world entirely. All you can to is make the choice that's best for you and your family. Whatever that is, I wish you the best.

[Buffylo]

And Hitler was in there for how long before he started on the Jews and the gays???
1934 to 1939 that's only 5 years and then 6 years of total destruction.

You're trying to compare two separate types of government. We have never ever had a monarch/dictator since the founding of the US, and we won't. ever. We chased the last guy's armies off the last time someone tried to enforce a tyrannical rule on us... as the British about us. And the civilians of the US wouldn't stand for martial law. At least the armed ones share that sentiment...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Americans are driven by fear

Whoop there it is! :biggrin:

The whole system here in the USA is geared toward generating fear (and hatred).

The media pumps out a list of things one needs to fear every single day. If that isn't enough then you have Glen Beck and Nancy grace to tell you how you should feel about the news - just in case you are confused that murder is bad....

If its not fear then its hate - and not just pure hatred, but disguised hatred.

The Whole gay issue remains an issue in the USA because the Republicans need a panic button. Ask a republican how they will fix the economy their reply 'We need to keep the gays from Marrying!"

Ask them about channeling of large amounts of money from various republican offices to fund terrorists in South America - "Gay Agenda to take over the World".

Ask them about foreign policy - "Stem Cell Research is bad!"

Yeah, there are three buttons: Stem Cell research, Abortion and The Gay. But this isn't Abortion Speak, this is Gayspeak we will leave those other dead horses to molder (trust me a republican will come along shortly to beat those poor dead critters for us).

The problem with using the Gay Panic Button is that its loosing steam - in fact all three of these panic buttons are losing importance as modern Americans no longer fear these things and they no longer really hate these things.

The Republicans are using old fashioned superstition in the 21st century. They would get better bang for their buck if they used the fear of Witches and Black Cats in many instances.

The numbers are in, most Americans (maybe not an overwhelming most) are not against LGBT. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-5...ex-unions/

The republicans are partially aware that their panic Button is losing is power. So they are going to try to amp up the fear and loathing by having 'presidents of local representative groups' stand up with these planks and platforms and agendas to attempt to show the rest of us that if you are a true American you have to oppose the Gay at every cost.

Fear - Hate.