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I read this morning in the paper an article that a woman that married a Gay man have a very high probability of doing the same mistake again. I truly believe this because in my case I am the second time.

I am incredibly good at keeping secrets, even from myself.

Ah yes, that makes sense.

Victims of domestic violence tend to fall for abusers as well.

I'm not saying gays are the same as abuse, what I'm saying is that we all tend to fall for certain personae and characters, minor traits and habits we associate with our ideal 'mate'.

For me with abusers, I am attracted to huge egos and dominating personalities, unfortunately for me more often than not those huge egos and dominating personalities tie in with the whole abuse = power/dominance mentality. It took a few failed relationships and more hours on a therapists couch than I care to think about to figure out what it was that got be involved with the same kind of man.

What is the attraction to gay men? Most likely the sensitivity and more connectivity to their emotions. Most (not all) gay men are more connected to their emotional side than straight men. Most (not all) women want a man to be more connected (Thus the metro-sexual fad).

So true Bowyn, but the ego and dominating personality can come without the abusive nature *points to self* it can come with a caring, giving nurturing nature.

We do tend to be attracted to what is familiar to us even when we know familiar is not safe. it is a difficult cycle to break and not settle for someone that isn't what we really want. It can be done, but that's usually after several fails and ending up with the same problem in another body, wearing another face.

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