Not sure what to think about myself

[Rutstuck]

Having trouble gauging sexuality?

It's been almost two years since my last sexual encounter and she was actually kinda heavy( I like that sometimes in a women) she wasn't really attractive at all but I was drinking and was horny and I ended up cumin fast so I enjoyed it and i even *wanted her to be on top but she was too embarrassed... I've also had some other really awesome sexual encounters with women .. *Now since then my sexual encounters have only been with myself and Internet porn.. Which usually consists of tranny porn and gay porn lately.. Sometimes straight porn and females masterbating on webcam.. *But I've noticed that when I think about gay *porn my thoughts are more powerful and give me a harder erection with gay porn and tranny porn.. But with thoughts of women it's not as satisfying and I don't get a quick erection... But it's a different story when it comes to sex I've came so fast with some of the women I've had sex but I've also had a few times where I couldn't get it up and now that I look back I'm wondering if there was a reason for those times.. Short example... I was around a women the otherday and I imagined me going to the restroom with her and I started to get an erection because the thought of having sex with her in the restroom was pleasing to me.. And I've also realized I can have sex with guys it's been awhile since I did this but i was able to get an erection *and I enjoyed the sex.. So I'm not sure what this says about me.. I sometimes wonder if I'm gay because i sometimes get the impression that people think I am maybe because I'm soft spoken and shy *but I'm not sure if that's some kind of insecurity thing or that people are reading the gay signals *through mannerisms and the way i sound?.. I've come to the conclusion that I'm openminded to sex with women men and trannys.. ( still want to *experiment with a ts) But *when it *comes to a relationship would prefer a romantic relationship with a women *and am not open to one with a man because the thought of that does nothing for me *and i just hope i can break away from my *Insecurities and hopefully find a wimen who accepts me and doesnt judge me in a negative light bevause of mu lack of social skills or that i may seem like a bit of a loser... Thats a fear of mine .. But my main concern and reason for this post is because I *don't understand why i get quick erections thinking of sex with men over women and makes me wonder if there is an obvious meaning to this that I don't see.. Ive just realized these thoughts about two years ago .. Or is it possible I'm over thinking this matter because I tend to over think situations .. Although this erection thing is happening and I'm *Not sure what to think about myself and I have a bad social anxiety problem and haven't been social within *the last two years so I'm not sure when i will have a sexual encounter of any kind I'm 24 now.. /:.. Any plausible advice?

[Blue]

The bisexual friends I have sound a lot like you. They are bi because they prefer the emotional aspects of a relationship with one gender and, the physical aspects with the other gender but, can enjoy sex with either, it's just better with the gender they don't want the emotional stuff with.

As for the social anxiety, if it's bad you might want to talk to a therapist (if you don't have one already). And yeah you probably are over thinking and trying to pour both your physical and emotional desires into one gender or the other when you naturally want both, each for different reasons.

You might be one of those people that's happiest in a threesome, rather than as a couple where you have both a male and a female partner in, a stable relationship.

[BobInTampa]

Well, the porn you watch isn't a singular indicator of your orientation, so don't read too much into that.

That said, your admission to having a "social anxiety problem" caught my attention. If you feel comfortable, can you tell us what that problem entails?

I won't go into more details on how your "problem" and your post are linked until i read your reply.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I always laugh when I consider how the Gals approach the whole 'What Am I sexually' as being just an emotional/commitment type thing and the Guys always approach it from 'what makes my dick stiff'.

Sexuality is not just about sex, its a mix of what is in the heart (emotions like love, who you want to cuddle with, etc.) and some sex.

Other than porn (which is terrible since it ends up breaking you from real sexual encounters as you get this unattainable fantasy image of what sex is supposed to be like) and sex, what else do you feel?

What other non-sexual attractions are included here?

Who do you picture yourself waking up next to in the morning and having a quick hug before running off to the bathroom to do your morning routine?

Who do you imagine living together and building a life with? Who do you picture yourself sitting on the couch arms around each other while watching the TV shows and movies you like? Who do you see yourself aruging over what is for dinner?

If its a man, then you are gay. If its a woman, then you are straight. If you can readily see yourself with either gender doing those sorts of things then you are bi.

If all it is is just sex, then your just sexual. You could mount a log with a whole in in at get off that way - the penis is pretty much blind.

[pellaz]

... and i just hope i can break away from my Insecurities ...

i would really work on your self before thinking straight of gay. be comfortable on the inside.

porn is not an indicator of anything. Your gay you can maintain a successful same sex relationship.

[Rutstuck]

The social anxiety thing is actually a huge problem for me right now it's ran my life since I realized it was what it was and that was in highschool I just never understood why I felt different from everyone in social situations ( not in a homosexual way) but more of a hypersensitive stick on my head paranoid way.. Most people outgrow this in their late teens early twenties but for someone like me it's been dragging on longer than it should I even feel stunted as far as growing up into a young confident adult I feel like I think about things insecure fifteen year olds think about.. I don't really talk to anyone about these things had a therapist but I stopped seeing him ( money issues).. I could get mote into detail about my problem maybe you could help me see things from a different perspective.. How do I message you?