Pix Wrote:A guy into the S&M subculture said nearly 90% of straight women were submissive (and the lit certainly reflects that, such as the very popular 50 Shades of Grey out right now). But once you leave pure heterosexuality then submissive women drop to about 50%.
You're right there Pix, Being a part of the BDSM community, I see it first hand. a good 90% of the hetero females are submissive and, of those about 50% are in or want what we call a TPE (Total Power Exchange) or, Master/slave 24/7 relationship. Move to the bi or gay women and it levels out to about 50/50 and, few want a TPE 24/7 relationship.
Now when it comes to men, 90 to 95 % of hetero BDSM men are Doms or Masters. Bi men it's about an equal split and gay men are about 75% submissive. A gay Dom isn't that hard to find but, a gay Master, one that will take on a TPE slave at all is rare. Part of that is because it is very taxing on the master, the other part is there aren't many men who want to be dominated by their partner to that degree.
I will take on a TPE slave, and i have many hetero women approach me, they just want a Master, they will give up the sex and settle for toys only to get it.
I understand the wanting to let someone else carry all of the worry and responsibility both emotionally and financially in a relationship, but to even sacrifice pleasure and the emotional bond to get it, I don't understand. And it doesn't happen with bi or gay people. The few that do want to be slaves, want the gender they prefer and, they want a gentle Master.
I have to wonder if part of the hetero women coming at me is that they think I'm more gentle, or more capable of being emotional, being a friend and not just a Master while still taking charge and ruling my little corner of the world unequivocally.
I know that in open dungeons (BDSM parties), unattached women will ask to partner with me on something they want to try but haven't before they ask the hetero men. Odd phenomenon but it happens every time I go to a public dungeon, I get five women to every man wanting to partner with me on something new to them, and no it isn't because there are more women or fewer men, the dungeons I attend are fairly evenly split among sexuality and gender, unless it's a gay only night. And I really don't think I'm that hot as to attract them with my body alone - I'm 46 for crying out loud.