Born Gay and Hiding It Still

[57lambertr]

I'm 57 years old,born gay and still pretty much in the closet. Sounds kinda chicken shit doesn't it? Well, consider this... being gay in 60's and 70's rural midwest was not common nor ever talked about. My best freind and i were instant soul mates and lovers, but couldn't really tell anyone. anyone else out there in the same situation would love to here your story

[princealbertofb]

Well I guess now that you've already answered many threads, I should you officially to GaySpeak, Lambert...mile:

So, are you two still partners in cream, er... crime???

[princealbertofb]

Question: what Midwest state are you living in?

[Blue]

Personally I'm of the mind that it's better for us to come out, even if that is going to cause a lot of turmoil, lost family, friends etc... It's hard but, you can get to know new people that do accept you for who you are.

Not that I don't understand the multitude of possible reasons for not coming out, but I think that for our own personal well being, we have to do it sooner or later. I don't see how anyone could live a lie for their entire life. I know some do it but, are any really happy that way?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm 57 years old,born gay and still pretty much in the closet. Sounds kinda chicken shit doesn't it? Well, consider this... being gay in 60's and 70's rural midwest was not common nor ever talked about. My best freind and i were instant soul mates and lovers, but couldn't really tell anyone. anyone else out there in the same situation would love to here your story

Chicken-Shit... No, not really.

While I am a decade younger than you I remember quite clearly how it was in the 1970's when it came to LGBT. I spent half of my youth in Kentucky I recall the horror stories of how they 'learned' gays the love of God and how not to sin.

I was lucky that my first lover was kind, gentle and was 'brave' enough for two of us. He kept me safe through the coming out process. It also helped that we lived in Gomorrah (Las Vegas, Sodom is San Francisco :biggrin with a small, close knit permanent gay community and lots of tourists.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people like you who are LGBT and hide in a closet out of fear of what will happen. As it happens older LGBT are the most reluctant to 'come out' but then they remember things like baseball bat parties taking place on streets, electroshock therapy to 'treat' homosexuality. Institutionalization for the 'mental illness'.

Many also recall the terrible 1980's with the gay plague and how the conservatives who spoke of the matter decided it was a 'Punishment From God'.

Kids (20 somethings) are born into a much different world. They missed out on the potential of being fired by a proud boss who did it because you were a pervo/sicko/whatever. Back then we needed to stay in if we wanted to keep out very jobs.

But. Society has moved on, there is a lot of changes afoot. No boss can fire you for being gay - legally. Sure they can find some other reason to ;let you go' but they can't proudly stand there and say 'I fired you because your gay'.

A very fine majority have tolerance and acceptance and feel that LGBT should have the same rights.

Its the 21st century, and I think it may not be a bad thing now for you to start exploring the potentials of coming out.

[James]

1950's were about the same, kept it from my parents while in school, asked a few other boy's out while in school, huge backlash, didn't really find my place in life till about 25 years old, (1970's). Was pretty much out by then but after 3 tours, and sf training figured I could handle anything that came along. Times have changed alot, along with attitude's, you still get the bible thumpers, but most people when they do find out say, really I never new, your just like us, meaning helping each other with projects and working and socialising a little. As I tell everyone here I never meet a straight who intro's himself " hi I'm joe, and I'm straight" so don't do the oppisite, James