Found him on a porn site :S

[monk]

There's nothing wrong in wanting a long-term meaningful relationship - just NOT with this guy.

Walk away and don't look back.

[dfiant]

An abusive guy (any person) does not....DOES NOT...deserve a second chance.

How many chances have you given him so far????

You are recovering from emotional problems and you want to give him his 38th chance because he says he has changed???

I'm sorry to be very blunt right here...are you fucking joking?

Look after yourself and tell him something along the lines of C U Next Time (Read the capitals), with a smile of course

[Corsac]

All of this added with the CRPS just makes me agree even with everyone when they say leave him, especially withthe CRPS. You can't let yourself be lured into another relationship with someone whos physically abused you before knowing that you now are diagnosed with something like CRPS, I have a friend with the condition so I've seen what pain they're in just doing normal household stuff.

[Vigilias]

"...thrown in a cell for physically abusing me."
" as soon as I started to date other people he didn't like it..."
"I got very depressed and attempted suicide..."
" he wasn't really there for me."
"although I made it clear I only wanted friendship, he made advances toward me..."
" he was dating another guy even though he said he wanted to be with me."
" Today I were looking at some porn sites and a pic of him came up sucking some other guys ****."
"...i can't even look up some porn without seeing my ex whoring himself out"

Yosh, he sounds like perfect boyfriend material - If you want to end up feeling depressed, insecure and suicidal.

By the sounds of it he has too many issues that need working on. You're not exactly in a good place emotionally right now to deal with someone like that.

My advice, sever all contact and tell him never to contact you again. I notice you live in the UK, that's good because we have a law now to prevent unwanted and unwelcome contact. The Protection From Harassment Act 1998 http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/section/1

The guy is as low as a worms tit and you're much better off without him.

[BobInTampa]

I agree with the posts about you needing to STAY CLEAR of a person who's already exhibited abusive behaviour towards you. So, for your own physical well-being, cut off all ties with him.

Now, i'm also concerned about the absence of any comments on mental health therapy. Clearly, your suicide attempt and other self-destructive behavior are indicators of some deep-seeded issues and i'm hoping that you have and/or ARE working with a counselor on those issues. And, even if you are, I can't belive that any mental health professional would counsel you that it would be a "good thing" for you to even CONSIDER meeting - let alone dating - this man again. So, if you're not working with a mental health counselor who has EXPERIENCE in working wtih gay men, CHANGE COUNSELORS!

Finally, and i know i may get bashed for this, but, if this man has done porn, all you have to do is look at the certificate at the beginning of each movie/clip and it will tell you when the recordings were made. If they were made before you dated, it was up to him to tell you and you to decide if you wanted to date a man who's done porn in the past. If he did (or is still doing porn) after you dated, then again, that's your call if you want to date someone who does porn. I don't judge people for the decision to do porn - however, beating you is INEXCUSEABLE and for that reason alone, i'd cut off all contact with him.

[East]

The porn for me would be non issue and in my opinion it isn't really an issue...your real problem is the physical and emotional abuse and so forget about the porn and focus on that as the single reason to avoid him.

Unfortunately...abusive people know exactly who to pick as a mate so what you CAN do is figure out what part of you needs repair and work on that. I know exactly what I am talking about...I had to do the very thing I am suggesting to you to get rid of and become unattractive to abusive obsessive stalker kind of men many years ago.

[zeon]

Plus also in life your find the right person for u dont make my mistake and be with someone to hold the love emotion because all ya do is waste time on broken promises

[ChadCoxRox]

Thanks Rox

I thought I could handle an open relationship - hell I even suggested it but it just creates distance from within. I start to wonder if I'm better off single long-term, but I just love all the romantic ideas and possibilities in a relationship

O well; thanks for replying

Well of course you prefer the love of a relationship and you can have it. BUT you must find and create it, not dream or wish it into being. Often, declaring intent to live single is the perfect way to finally run head on into the love of one's life! What you seek/desire does not usually come from trying out every person you meet, declaring despite reliable knowledge. Best wishes as you find you way. I'd say the more time you invest in knowing YOU and loving you, the better you'll be a knowing about someone else "for sure."

[Rainbowmum]

No , you are not over reacting , and please do not take this up with him.
I usually do not like telling people what they should do , in this case I would say run , do not look back, cut all contact with this violent man.

He has already abused you once and because you dropped the charges , he got away with it.
To him this is an open ticket to do it again and again.

Leave it be , just cut all contact,