Does working with him make you uncomfortable? if so report him. If you are okay then, I'd let one time slide, but report if he ever does it again.
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No it doesn't make me uncomfortable working with him, but I can't stop thinking about it. Not in the sense of should I do it or not, cause I definitely do NOT want to hook up with him or have anything other than a casual friendship. I just can't believe he would do something like this. I know there are guys, and women, out there who do stuff like this all the time, but I never expected it from him.
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People can surprise you, the serial killer might be the unassuming neighbor - it happens far too often in this world.
If you would feel better reporting him, do it. He knew the risk, so if you do, don't feel bad about doing it.
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Rule No. 1 - No (nil, nada, never ever) getting romantically involved with someone at work, supervisor or otherwise.
Friends yes, absolutely fine. But you need to make sure the boundaries of the friendship are clearly defined right up front!
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Well I spoke to his manager, his managers manager, and two ladies from HR about it this afternoon. I did so because the more I thought about it the more uncomfortable I felt. Plus, maybe it was just my imagination, but it felt like he was "gravitating" towards me more and more as the day went on. He just kept "popping up" in my area more often than usual.
The HR ladies said they are going to file an investigation and speak to him about it, but they didn't feel like it was harassment simply because he only asked me the one time and he didn't make any real propositions towards me or touch me or do anything "grievous towards me" (their words not mine).
I thought it didn't matter how many times something was said or what was done, as long as it was inappropriate or made the other person uncomfortable, which he did both. Truth be told, I felt like they thought I was making something out of nothing.
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I would have been more inclined to deal with it myself rather than go to management at this point in time.
I don't think his intent was maliscious, there are men out there that believe 'Being gay means being a sex addicted slut', he seems to be one of them. So far he has asked once, you have said no and there have been no further advances.
He may be hanging around simply because you have been a friend for so long and because maybe he hasn't truely reconciled with his own sexuality, he just feels that he has someone to identify with.
I think because you have gone to management, instead of 1 elephant in the room, you will now have 2 elephants in the room unfortunately.
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Honestly, I didn't know what else to do. I don't want him approaching me like that again, but I didn't feel comfortable confronting him about it. Maybe I did make a big deal about nothing, I don't know. But, I can't take it bake now. Sometimes I wish I'd learn to keep my big mouth shut!
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Archubbycub, the thing is never to speak when the situation is heated... Leave the room and come back and address the problem politely when you've given it some thought. Gives you time to cool off.
It'll only become harrassment if he starts stalking you. If not, I'm sure he's intelligent enough to take a polite "NO, thanks".
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I guess I blew this way out of proportion and now I feel bad! I'm such a loser when it comes to things like this!
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You'll find that's the way most people handle such things. (and worse) that whole "So, get over it" attitude. It's frustrating and annoying, but in your case, unless you actually want to press harassment charges, not much you can do about it.
I just hope the talking to he gets is enough to get him to back off. If not, you might need to file charges.
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Interesting developments!!
