I've been on about this guy for twelve years. He hadn't spoken to me in the last six, despite my trying to communicate through social media. I dreamt of him a few months back, and a mutual friend of ours from high school added me on facebook (she was part of the "posse", so to speak, and it freaked me out a little). Last month I sent him a message, the first in almost two years, telling him I was having a hard time letting him go, asking him to at least tell me directly if I was holding onto something I shouldn't. He read it, but didn't reply.
I dreamt of him again last night, that I asked him if we could be together. He said yes, and I was so happy, I told him as I lay down next to him, "Finally, I can hold you, and it won't be weird," as I draped an arm over him, feeling his ribs under my arms. I felt warm, happy, and safe, relieved even.
When I woke up I was devastated. I stayed in bed for two hours until I told myself that nothing would get done, and I had to make the day.
So I pose this question: what kind of mindfuckery is this, and how do I get past it?!
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The best thing to do is to let him go you can't live your life waiting for him. It will drive you crazy. It will hurt but time is great healer believe me.
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Dan1980 Wrote:The best thing to do is to let him go you can't live your life waiting for him. It will drive you crazy. It will hurt but time is great healer believe me.
I was hoping this would be true, but I don't understand why these feelings are being stirred up now, or why he is showing up in my dreams. My first thought was he was my best friend, the closest thing I had to a first boyfriend, but we never really "broke up"... I don't know, I'm confused and talking out ny ass
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you need to identify why you want him. is it his body? his personality? what about his body/personality is it that you like? you need to realize that there is someone else out there that have everything you love in him and even more.
why are you not allowing yourself to move on? is it that you just want a direct answer from him and not getting one leads you on or is it because you just keep mulling over what could be in your head instead of thinking about what you could have elsewhere with someone else?
getting over someone is the hardest thing ever. i am still in the process of getting over my ex even tho our relationship was toxic to both of us. i almost got hit by a car a few times because walking down the road i will stare at his apt window as i pass. its not healthy. i must constantly scold myself whenever i have thoughts or feelings for him. and the more i scold myself the easier it gets next time. telling my friends about it helps too because i have a support system. somewhat of one at least.
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I've spent almost ten years playing "what if", and like an idiot, I still do.
Of everyone in my life, I want to forget him the most, and don't understand why I can't.
And this is my support, here at the forum.
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11-24-2012, 09:23 PM
(Edited 11-24-2012, 09:27 PM by Dan1980.)
Counselor Wrote:I've spent almost ten years playing "what if", and like an idiot, I still do.
Of everyone in my life, I want to forget him the most, and don't understand why I can't.
And this is my support, here at the forum.
You like him that's why you can't forget him. Try taking your mind of him. I know it's easier said then done.
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it sounds like you are probably fucking your own mind...
how many times have you tried to reconnect with him over the years?
how many times has he avoided or ignored your efforts?
how many will it take for you to stop torturing your self consciously so your subconscious can no longer fuck with you so badly because you're engaged and stimulated by something more current and worth the effort?
I'm sad to think of your suffering. Hope it ends soon! 
 Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!
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Just how big of a pedestal have you put the poor guy on? Honestly it sounds like you have him on a pedestal he could never actually live up to. He can't be perfect, or even perfect for you in every way - no one is. Yes close is possible and, that's what we want, but no one is perfect in every way all of the time.
He wouldn't be there 100% of the time for you, wouldn't be able to solve all of your problems and, wouldn't be the consummate lover each and every time - that's reality, NO ONE is that perfect, not you, not me, not him, not anyone.
Be realistic and objective and, get him off that pedestal. Once yo do, I think you will see that he might be good, but so might someone else.
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I really feel that you need to resolve this , there is something still there that you have no closure on.
Perhaps it is time to meet him for coffee in person.
Often when we yearn for someone ,we can make them even more desirable.
I really feel for you.
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I know this is easier said than done but just focus on living YOUR life doing what YOU love, don't try to live HIS life, live your own 
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