Man Troubles

[ChadCoxRox]

Worthy discernment requires patience. You'll find what you are searching for and likely when you least expect it.

Sent from my heart via 4G LTE

[ManicReptile21]

If you don't like them, don't be a pretentious prick and pretend to like them. don't enter a relationship unless your gonna be faithful. otherwise be a lonely old grouch for the rest of your days. or maybe you'll eventually make a decent decision that will lead to your happiness.

[bryandurel]

its perfectly fine to not lower your standards or expecations. you're young and experimenting... you'll find what you seek eventually. it's a process of discovery as much as self-discovery.

[princealbertofb]

I suppose it's all to do with how "hungry" you really are. If you're happy with what you've got and there is no "food" out there you fancy, you can stay on your diet. The day you really become hungry, hopefully, you'll recognise it and find something to eat.
I know this is a metaphor. But I think that's how it is at the moment. Having high standards is nothing like being shallow (on the contrary). I think one can have high standards (in terms of beauty, chemistry etc...) and yet live a fulfilling romantic life. That's what Cinderella is all about, isn't it? But Cinderella is also about accepting that someone you love may look like a servant girl. It's finding the gem in the servant girl that's important to your happiness, the one that the glass slipper fits.
It sounds to me, Tombo, as if you haven't yet found the man that makes you go looking for him, even among the servants. It's not necessarily a questions of beauty, and if it is, then maybe you are shallow. I'm guessing you have talked and interacted with all these people at the LGBT centre now, and know them enough to think that they are better off as friends. We need friends too. No boyfriend material there. Maybe your future partner is somewhere else, maybe somewhere where there is confidence (confidence is sexy!mile and no need to cling to a group of like-minded people? The LGBT centre is fine for some aspects of your life that need to be covered. And then again, you never know, one day maybe Prince Charming will come walking in, needing the group too and you'll fall madly in love? The random aspect of life. So don't give up hope, but start looking in other places, as well?

[princealbertofb]

I mean this with respect, but what is the difference between "high standards" and "being shallow"? I've always developed attraction to people with whom I connect on more than just the level of appearance.

I suppose Tombo just hasn't come across such a person yet... There seems to be a lack of connexion there, despite him being in the right shoal.

[Evan88]

That's life I guess.

But honestly, I was not really that attracted to my boyfriend for 3 years now when I first saw him. Its just a common feeling. We became friends, and I gradually liked him especially his personality.

[rover330]

guess my 2 cents would be, I went with my ex to get tested for HIV shortly after we met so we would know, since we were going to be monogamous, if we could play bare. his was poz, mine was neg. it was pretty devastating as he had no idea. not long after that he started having really bad fevers at night... he was eventually diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, which is a form of lymphatic cancer. it had nothing to do with his HIV status although his lowered immune system made it harder for him to fight it off.

he started a pretty heavy regimen of chemo, which means you lose every hair on your body, he lost a lot of weight.

when I looked at Craig I didn't see his body as much as i saw his soul looking out at me through his eyes. that was what I fell in love with in the first place.

he recovered and has been in remission for over 10 years, and is very happy with his husband out in Colorado. he and I parted ways for reasons that had nothing to do with either of our looks.

I guess my point is, the body is a shell for the soul. you, too, will be old one day and will have some young guy referring to you as the "older guy". if you're looking for a bf my advice would be to fall in love with who he is inside as opposed to on the out. physical beauty fades over time. character and soul do not.

[princealbertofb]

...

when I looked at Craig I didn't see his body as much as i saw his soul looking out at me through his eyes. that was what I fell in love with in the first place.

...

I guess my point is, the body is a shell for the soul. you, too, will be old one day and will have some young guy referring to you as the "older guy". if you're looking for a bf my advice would be to fall in love with who he is inside as opposed to on the out. physical beauty fades over time. character and soul do not.

Rover, you told this so well, that tears came to my eyes. Thanks for telling it how it is.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Ive always thought that LGBT societies were more about socialising then than pick up clubs LoL.

Perhaps your just expecting too much, so how about going out on the scene?

Sometimes love can come from the most unexpected places, and usually when your not looking too hard for it!

ObW
x

[princealbertofb]

OlderButWiser is right... seek the unexpected. haha.