Gayspeak - As a forum.

[Mark]

Gayspeak,Is it what it used to be?

Many of you may have noticed I personally havent been posting half as much as I used to, and I guess im going to explain why.

Over the past few weeks ive noticed alot of change within gayspeak as a forum, arguments have occured, and in my eyes the general threads seem to be not very interesting, or just not up to the standards they used to be.

Gayspeak I found amazing when I had problems, yet now I feel I get slated or get people speak in a tone which makes me feel im over-reacting, or even get told I am. I do still face alot of problems, yet I feel on here I cannot post them for the reasons stated. I get more help on the bbc one life forum.

Two main threads resulted in a big disagreement and I would even stretch to an argument. Both I have to admit I was included in. But one I was sharing an opinion, and the other was just rude towards me, and something im passionate about. This resulted in me viewing members in a different light.

There are a small handful of members I actually still have respect for, where as before I could safely say I had respect for every member.

Certain posts leave me wondering. I know this forum is a gay forum, but members tend to immediatly post about MALE celebs, which have tragically died, or have some misfortune, yet it never mentions female celebs. An example would be Britney spears, the most high profile story I feel at the moment. Her life has fallen to pieces, but we never discuss such stories, is it because shes female?

I just feel, gayspeak was a forum set up to discuss topics, members to share knowledge, help problems, and to make people feel welcome. Yet at the moment I feel very unwelcome. Im sure im not the only one to think this? And Im not sure how to improve it.

Im not blaming anyone for this, just I thought id share..

[princealbertofb]

Hello, Mark,

Maybe you are still feeling a little raw about all the things that have been going on. You've suggested a thread on Britney Spears... Well, if it's your heart's inclination, why don't you start the thread? You'll see who's interested in discussing her demise and who couldn't care less.

I was looking at the names and profiles of all the registered members last night, and I realised there were very few females in the listings. So I'm not completely surprised about there being less on these boards about our female counterparts. However, women ARE part of our lives, sometimes quite prominently. And so if you'd like to discuss what women have contributed to society, history, the world, our private lives, why don't we start a thread on that subject???

I wouldn't have much to say on Britney or her life or her career, to be honest. I don't really know her work very well (or her life, or her career). But I could probably tell you lots about Donna Summer and Gloria Gaynor? But would you be interested? Not so much your generation's idols, eh?

[Mark]

Lol the point wasnt I want a convo on britney, it was an example.

[princealbertofb]

Lol the point wasnt I want a convo on britney, it was an example.

Yes, you did mention the word example. However the gist I got from reading your post was that it sounded as if you at least wanted some subject involving women rather than men... You start it! We'll be glad to post... if we can.

[Shadow]

I think it's in the nature of all forums to fluctuate - they provide what I consider to be ports in a storm, so it depends on what ships are docked, how strong the storm is, and so on, as to who you'll find, how receptive they'll be, how much help you'll get, how long you'll need to use them, whether you continue to use them after you've gotten the help you desire, and so on.

In my experience (which, ok, isn't LEGION, but I've been to a few gay forums), Gayspeak is my favourite - the general culture of people here is polite, respectful and helpful, and there are some great minds that frequent the boards. It attracts a large age-range of people, and I feel the issues which are often discussed are important, and the opinions raised are helpful to the people that seek guidance to begin with ...

There are always examples of when things don't go exactly according to plan, such as the two cases you've cited, both of which I vividly remember, and I think it's one of the most lamentable situations any forum can experience when a member or members feel either chastised or (in a worst-case scenario) driven away by the treatment they've had at the hands of others, as that is TOTALLY contrary to the purpose of the forum in the first place ...

So whilst it may or may not affect your decision to continue using the site, for what it's worth, I think the instances you've experienced are more blips than a growing trend, and I for one would be very sorry to see you curtail or cease using the site, on the basis that I think you've made a large number of very helpful contributions, and you add to the general happy-go-lucky, chatty and friendly atmosphere which sites like Gayspeak don't just seek to engender, but actually need in order to remain attractive ...

... because even in a storm, you could always try and get up to the next port, non ?? .

As for the female thing, I think it's always been the case that Gayspeak has been more male-dominated, purely because the largest chunk of its members seem to be men ... whenever I've tried to start up threads about women, they never seem to attract that much attention, and most of the female posters that come here don't seem to stay too long or, if they do, don't seem to contribute quite as much (and that's not slighting anybody - I'm really quite gutted about it as I think they input would be invaluable).

So I'd say give it another go ... what's the worst that can happen ?? mile:.

.

xxx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[marshlander]

Albert and I are both new here. Speaking for myself, I cannot comment on what it may have been like before we arrived. Trust me, though, it could be much more combative than anything I've seen so far (been there, done that etc :redface: ).

It sounds as though you are lamenting the loss of some golden age. The only way things could stay the same would be to have a forum:

• closed to new members;
  
• so heavily moderated that differences of opinion are not tolerated;
  
• where all members maintain the same point of view with which they arrived;
  
• where contributors are afraid of writing anything that could be construed as controversial.

I'm not interested in being a part of any of those scenes. This is a safe medium within which to share ideas ... even daft ones. Pretty much everyone is anonymous. We all have the choice whether to contribute to a thread or not. Editing tools are available should we wish to retract. As a last resort there are active moderators who can zap anything that breaks what rules there are (although having attempted to moderate gay discussion groups in the past I'm pleased to see they use a light touch). Apart from anything else there are so many forums on this site that there are bound to be discussions suited to everyone's needs and interests. I cannot believe that anyone at university has never been called upon to counter or defend a robust point of view?

Like it or not this is a public medium. If I am prepared to state something here I should also be prepared for the possibility of a challenge. I'm certainly not going to expect that I can enjoy the rest of my life without having to explain myself from time to time if I have not been clear enough. It's always my choice to take the bait or not.

This kind of discussion group is a relatively new phenomenon and a very interesting one. The only way we have a personality on here is through our writing. Heaven forbid we should turn into the Stepford Posters!!

If you feel you want to "improve it" just keep on posting! You can't influence anyone else's contributions other than by the weight of your arguments and the charm of the personality that comes through your writing. "Live and let live" may sound old fashioned, but it has its merits

Regards

[princealbertofb]

As for the female thing, I think it's always been the case that Gayspeak has been more male-dominated, purely because the largest chunk of its members seem to be men ... whenever I've tried to start up threads about women, they never seem to attract that much attention, and most of the female posters that come here don't seem to stay too long or, if they do, don't seem to contribute quite as much (and that's not slighting anybody - I'm really quite gutted about it as I think their input would be invaluable).

So I'd say give it another go ... what's the worst that can happen ?? mile:.

.
xxx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

I think we tried to get Jane to join... She hasn't so far, but if she does...mile: !

[Shadow]

Indeed !

Jane is always very forthright in her opinion bless her - I'm sure she'd pepp up things on the female side mile:.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[princealbertofb]

Jane has studied us in ways that other women haven't. That's why I'd be glad to welcome her on these boards.

[Dan1089]

Many users are afraid of posting & might think saying "hi" to a new member is suffecient.A lot of things happen around me but I cant talk about them because they're African issues which most of you Western Hemisphere lads aren't well versed in.I wouldn't mind if people posted threads about Northern Rock,Hilary vs my future husband,Obama,the Fabulous Life of Nicholas Sarkozy etc.As essential as the advice that we give maybe others see GS only as an agony aunt forum.